Blue Bell is MISSING!

I got this email today. It was sent from the President's office to all staff, students, and faculty.

I just received a call from a dairy farm in Franklin, PA. It seems that one of their cows, Blue Bell, got loose – again. According to the caller, when Blue Bell escaped from the farm in the past, she always made her way to Passavant, Sisters of Divine Providence, La Roche College property.

Blue Bell is black and white with a big black spot on her back and wears a blue bell around her neck. If anyone spots her, please call Betty, the head milk maid, at 724-387-7180, and the farm employees will come and get Blue Bell.

First of all, is this really the best use of a campus-wide email?

Secondly, La Roche is about 75 miles from Franklin. You're telling me that a cow managed to wander (I assume slowly, as I have never seen a cow do more than amble around) 75 MILES with NO ONE NOTICING? Blue Bell didn't show up in someone's yard? Is she walking along the turnpike and no one thought to tell anyone? I mean, how do you not easily identify Blue Bell? She's black and white with a black spot on her back! That's a pretty unique look for a cow.

At least this email accomplished something. I now know my goal in life is to become the head milkmaid somewhere. I didn't even know that was an option.