I am a guitar hero

some of you may know of the obsession. some of you only may have heard of the game. and some of you may be clueless.

my friends and I have turned into heroes. guitar heroes.

I blame Silent Bob. one innocent day, he brought it to Will and Shannon's. I'm sure he was aware of the chaos that would ensue. because, really, who can play that game and not immediately need it?
thanks to my raise/bonus, the day after playing it, I took JP to Game Stop. we walked in about 10 minutes after they opened, and I told the still-drinking-his-coffee salesguy that I needed a PS2, guitar hero 2, 2 guitars, DDR, and 2 dance pads (because why would you own a PS2 and NOT DDR? come on!). he gathered everything together as JP grinned next to me. and then we took it home.

my life has changed. the way I listen to music is heavily affected. I no longer hear the soulful lyrics belted out or even the whining of emo anymore. I hear the guitar. and bass.

does that solo sound too hard?
that bass line would be really tough, even on medium!
listen to that great guitar work on the chorus!

the words "this would be a really good guitar hero song!" pass from my lips on a daily basis. it's the source of most of JP and I's conversations in the car. if NPR isn't on, I'm patrolling the stations for the newest good guitar hero song. I wonder if they take requests?

and it's not just me. Shannon does it. Will and Kara, too. and when Zac arrived on Wednesday, we sat him down and told him the truth: we are all addicted to guitar hero.
he was surprised to learn that in the 3 weeks he had been out of the country, we managed to find something so all-consuming. I think we've managed to suck him in though.

and now we learn there is merchandise. I have to have something. I'm torn about what I want my guitar hero message to the world to be. I can't get the "I play on expert!" or "I use all the frets!" because I don't. but guitar hero girl? I'm totally considering it.

Lost quotes

ok, so I just wanted to document my two favorite Lost quotes from this spring season so far. don't worry, no spoilers. just things that make me giggle.

Sawyer: "Well, look who's hooked on phonics!"

Ben: "Unfortunately, we don’t have a code for 'there’s a man in the closet with a gun to my daughter’s head.' But apparently we should."

less bitchy, more philosophical

I am a crazy multi-tasker. I don't believe in doing just one thing if it can be helped. right now, I have 3 tabs on Firefox, 2 excel files, a notepad file, and 'my documents' open. I have used all of them in the past 15 minutes. most of them are unrelated. I would be listening to my iPod, but it's charging at the moment. I listen to my iPod on any walk that I take throughout the day. I watch tv while uploading my latest photos or adding to my iTunes library. I listen to my iPod while cleaning. I talk on the phone while on the bus, if I'm not reading. I read while waiting for the bus, standing up. when I used to smoke, I would go outside by myself and read for the 6 minutes it took me to smoke a cigarette. I drink water while talking on the phone while walking to the bus stop while rifling through my bag for my planner/quarters/lip balm/whatever.
now, I'm sure some of you would say this is how I manage to make life a struggle and hurt myself so often. and there are about a bazillion reports out there on how multi-tasking is actually the least productive thing you can do. but I can't help it. I feel like I need the stimulation.
work has been really busy this week. like, really busy. I've-been-eating-lunch-at-my-desk busy. and about 15 minutes ago, I had had enough. so I got up and walked out the back door, not really knowing what I was doing. I had my id to get back in the building and the key to my office. and that was it. no purse, no money, no iPod, no phone, no book, no nothing. so I walked around the block.
I watched a high school kid almost miss a bus and run full speed down the street to catch it. I saw 3 girls jogging in exercise clothing, accompanied by their male friend wearing a shirt and tie (also jogging). I saw a woman break into a jog to meet someone and give them a hug. there was a chick wearing this really cute plaid skirt (a la punk rock, not Britney), tall boots, and with bleached blonde fluffy hair in a high ponytail. she was adorable. I heard all the traffic, a car alarm, and then was amazed when I walked around the back of my building and was met with near silence. is this what I've been missing? I feel like I smiled the whole time. and I got that "good" feeling. you ever get that? it sorta just wells up in me that everything really is great, and that suddenly it's not such a big deal that I use paper towels to dry my hands (not environmentally friendly!) or that some guy cut me off on the way to work (angerfying!) or that there were a bunch of things to do today (finish work, do dishes, make brownies, hang out with LeeAnn, resist smoking). I'm even less stressed about my messy, messy desk.
I feel good.
I guess sometimes you just have to stop the multi-tasking and see everything for a moment.

letter to God

dear God,

if you wanted people to help each other, why did you make the customer service reps at my credit union so stupid?

love,
Freya

don't be a dna stalker!

I found this today. a poster of dna. whoever's dna you want! the cat's, your hubby's, or that chick you secretly think is hot.
although, there is a whole creepy factor of putting someone's dna on your wall without their knowledge. it's sorta like the ultimate naked picture.

letter to my co-workers

dear communal microwave users,

today, I spent about 15 minutes trying to scrub out our microwave. I am by no means a neat freak, but the smell and crusted, spattered food was getting to me. I had to remove a paper towel from the glass plate by soaking it in water. I understand you may have thought you were being considerate by not spilling onto the plate, but you left it there collecting your overflow, which became glue-like when dried, and then was undoubtedly re-microwaved by the person who used it after you. if you are going to do that, at least have the courtesy to throw away the goddamn paper towel. or, better yet, save mother nature and WIPE UP YOUR GODDAMN MESS. what are you, 4? if you do indeed have someone who cleans up after you at home, please come see me. I would like to get the contact info for that person and yell at them about how they've made you a crappy co-worker because of it. if not, you have no excuse except that you figure someone else will do it. that's not an excuse, that's called being inconsiderate.

thanks for the lesson in congealed food removal!

~Freya

can I start over?

god, this is the worst morning EVER. so far, I've been out of bed for less than an hour and a half. The following bad things have happened to me:

1) realizing that I left my phone at home, when there's a big life event that I'm waiting to hear about
2) falling on my ass on the street (next to lulu's. it's icing this morning.)
3) spilling scalding hot coffee all over my hand (not during the fall, but mere moments later)
4) while running cool water over my burned hand, elbowing my sunglasses and breaking them

no, really, I'm just waiting for the meteor to hit and destroy me utterly.
what did I do to deserve this? was it all the DDR that I played last night? did I disturb my neighbors? I didn't know, I swear it! take it back! please! let my phone appear in my bag! maybe I didn't forget it. I'll go check again.

not there.

UPDATE: 4 hours later, and I have JP's phone. I got the important call (which was that Will and Shannon are indeed engaged!). my lunch pasta is yummy.
life is back to good.

Amazon.com reviews

while shopping for items that I don't know much about, I find that a lot of times reviews will steer me in one direction or another. if everyone posts about the same coffee pot spontaneously combusting, I'm going to buy the other one. if there are mixed reviews, it becomes much more difficult. however, there are those reviews that I just don't understand. here's my latest favorite Amazon review. it's of the iDog, the plastic dog that projects your iPod through its mini speakers and dances a bit to the music. this is what the lady said:

"Bought this toy for my daughter for Christmas assuming it would be reasonably intelligent and actually do something. Beware...it doesn't. I'm still not sure what it does other than make a few movements based off the music. Plus have plenty of batteries on hand as it eats batteries to the tune of 2+ per day."

I posted the following comment to what I believe to be a ridiculously unfair review:

""assuming it would be reasonably intelligent"?? It's an electronic device, not a college professor.
"I'm still not sure what it does other than make a few movements based off the music." - well, honey, that's what it's supposed to do. My vacuum cleaner doesn't wash dishes, but I don't give it a bad review because of that.
I don't own this thing, but your complaints drive me crazy. They're rooted in high expectations of something that is plastic, less than $30, and does only what is advertised. It's not a real dog!"

I'm really curious as to what she was expecting. I think the eating batteries complaint is valid, but the other comments? gimme a break.

here's another oldie-but-a-goodie. discussing an air released treatment for cats that helps them stop spraying:

"My cat stopped urinating after plugging in the diffuser. It's well worth it to not have to worry about pet stains and odor."

here's the thing. she only gave the product 4 stars. what else does this device need to do in order to get that extra star? sounds like it did all that was promised! were you disappointed that it didn't give you interesting topics to discuss on your blind date? were you hoping to wake up every morning and find that it had made you coffee?

maybe it just wasn't intelligent enough for her.

recommendation letter

JP wants to apply for a summer program, but needs letters of recommendation by Thursday. I wrote one for him below. Feel free to write your own in the comments.

Dear So-and-So,

JP is wonderful and you're lucky he's applying to your program.

You better pick him or you're making a big mistake, maybe the biggest of your life.

How do you feel about that, huh?

Sincerely,

Not his wife,

Freya

no taste

for the past couple days, I've been looking at local real estate online. and you know what I've discovered?

people have the worst taste.

it's terrible! one house has an entire sliding glass door dripping in lace, another has a WALL OF MIRRORS (picture 3 of 6) in their living room.
who, when picking out carpeting, says to themselves, "you know what would be great? hunter green throughout the whole house!"

I'm appalled. I wouldn't move into some of those houses just because of the decor. I know most of it doesn't come with the house, but I can't help it.

note on recent weather phenomenon

Dear Mother Nature,

WTF? We are sick of this crap.
Please start the thawing process.

Love,
Shannon & Freya

customer service

I somehow feel like my rants about customer service on this blog make me seem like I'm high maintenance. after you read this, let me know what you think....
at the end of january, I bought some lavender essential oil from a site similar to ebay, called ioffer. I was sent a message saying that the seller would contact me shortly with payment details.
a couple days go by, and no message from the seller. I wrote to them asking how I could pay for this.
no message.
a couple days ago (about a month later!), I get a message from them saying they're sorry and they lost my order. to make up for it, they'll give me free shipping. ok, good deal. as far as I'm concerned, they have fully redeemed themselves. make a payment through PayPal.
I read the email again and realize that it says the free shipping is only good for the oil in a plastic container, not the pretty amber colored glass that was pictured (and promised!). so that seems kinda crappy. "sorry we lost your order, here's free shipping to make up for it. by the way, that free shipping? it means we downgraded your order."
standard shipping was $5. $5! I would've paid it, happily, even after the losing my order thing. what's the price difference between the bottles? I'm guessing a buck or two. so I email them and tell them I thought it was kind of crappy they did that. and you know what they did? returned my payment and sent me a nasty email about how they didn't have to give me free shipping and if I was going to complain, too bad. I don't get my stuff.
so I sent an email back that says:
"Wow. Your customer service has been really amazing. I try to buy something, you take a month to respond. I complain, you cancel the order. That's mature."
and I get a response that says:

"I made an offer to to pay for shipping on a "HDPE" container I did not have to do that - YOU accepted that offer, then then YOU complained it was not in glass and felt you where not getting what you paid for. The listing clearly states Buyer will PAY FOR shipping at the calculated rate. I could not help that the new setup did not generate an email.

I went into Paypal to accept payment and found that you do not have a confirmed shipping address. Just another nasty feeling coming my way. I felt it would be in both our interests to just walk away. Sorry it wasted BOTH of our time but had to go with my gut feeling."
gut feeling? about how if she took my payment my package might not arrive at my unconfirmed address? are you kidding?
so I sent back an email that said:
"Well, God forbid someone move. Really.
There's no "have to" about customer service. It's merely something you do so that you retain customers. This is possibly the most ridiculous thing I have ever encountered."
I know that's kinda bitchy, but come on. cancelling my order? after you screwed up in the first place?
no one buy anything from 'Fragrances for Less' on ebay or ioffer or anywhere else.

grammar maven

ok, as a mini-linguist, I don't put too much stock in grammar rules. there's not really any "correct" way to speak. things are being added to our language all the time, vocabulary, grammar structure, etc. what was not considered grammatical 100 years ago may be common practice today.
however....
there are punctuation misuses that really piss me off.
first of all, quotes. quotes are used to show what someone said or to indicate that something is not quite as it appears. think of it as sarcasm of a sort in written form. it is not for emphasis people! therefore, when your sign says:
"fresh" fish!
I am unlikely to buy your fish. are you really telling me that the fish appears to be fresh, but really isn't? because that's not a good marketing strategy.
I saw another today:
BINGO
"$8,000" Jackpot!
so, it's not really $8,000? you're just leading us to believe it is to draw us into a game of bingo? that's lame.
the other one that really gets me is the apostrophe. apostrophes generally mean contraction or possession. therefore, if your sign says:
Red Pepper's!
I want to know what of the red pepper you are selling.
there are plenty of ways to emphasize things. using bold, italics, different fonts, different sizes, etc. there is a whole field of artistry in this regard.
and who is printing these signs?? why aren't these people going, "you know, that's wrong. maybe I should tell them!"