worries

i think i might be an intense person. i get riled very easily by things like stupid drivers, people who aren't nice to other people, and animal injustices (i'm sorta bristling just thinking about it.). i have passion. it does ebb and flow (especially with craft-related hobbies, exercising, and labor intensive cooking) but i get really into things. especially worrying. i worry a lot.
i have many concerns on a daily basis. am i good at my job? what's for dinner? did i forget to pay a bill? is the oven on? are the cats lonely? i should clean. i should read. i should knit. i know my rent is due on the 5th, but do they think i'm irresponsible for dropping it off on the 4th every month? and lastly, jp.
one thing i'm really into is jp. it is appropriate, since he's my husband. i'm concerned with his well being. probably too much so. definitely too much so.
on monday, jp had an open research memo due. that's law school talk for a really difficult research paper, replete with much analysis.
i've been worried about this memo since it was assigned. i felt a huge wave of relief when the deadline was extended. i mean, how were we going to get it done on time?
another huge wave of relief yesterday when it was turned in.
jp missed a class the one week due to oversleeping. i had butterflies most of the next night. would we oversleep again? he can't miss class 2 days in a row! i know my snoozing is out of control. what can i do? is it fair that i stay in bed when he has to get up? he goes to bed later than me! i should make him coffee and a morning snack! he won't do that for himself!
now, jp has class at 9am tuesday - friday. this means he needs to leave the house somewhere between 8:15 and 8:30 to get there on time. i go to work when it pleases me. sometimes i leave with jp, other times no.
monday morning, 8am. i have been snoozing my alarm for about 1/2 hour now. dammit! again! i jump out of bed, push jp. he groans. i'm crazed. late! we're late! well, not us, him! i run to the kitchen to start coffee. i dash to the bathroom to brush my teeth. luckily, we showered the late afternoon before. we can wait. i run into the bedroom and jp's still in bed! i'm frantic and angered. why won't he get up? while i'm getting dressed he gets up and goes into the living room to watch the weather channel. 15 min to leave the house and you're going to watch the weather channel?? i hop into the living room, trying to put my shoes on. i ask jp what he thinks he's doing. he looks at me, fully ready to go at 8:15 and says, "you know, on mondays i don't have class until 10."
well, i felt dumb.
last week, jp was excited that he had no 9am class on tuesday, wednesday, or thursday this week. i was pleased for him. and promptly forgot.
this morning: replay last monday.
i can't help it! i worry!
next up, he has an appellate brief due. i don't know what that is, but i'm concerned.
you know what else is concerning?
how much i worry.
damn vicious cycles.