Will you be my friend?

A good friend of Tim's, Todd, moved into our building upstairs yesterday. We now have a representative on each floor, and I believe we are well on our way to total domination. If you are in need of an apartment, let me know. Having friends in the same building is like living in a dorm, but there's no RA and you can drink and smoke all you want. Not to mention have pets and kitchen appliances.

So, I don't know Todd at all, really. I've met the guy twice. Once was at this photography meet-up thing, where I asked him to wear my faerie wings and took this picture of him:

(see more on my Flickr)

Yesterday, I ran into him in the hallway and offered my moving services (hey, I can at least carry boxes/small furniture!). This was strange in and of itself because I can count on both my hands the number of times I have interacted with/seen any of my neighbors that weren't Tim. And then this morning, I decided to shower and have the luxury of clean towels (I am loath to tell you how long it has been since that happened). So I throw on this ridiculous hat I have to cover up my hair and my glasses and head downstairs. I open the fire door in our hallway and feel it hit someone. Shit! I just shoved a really heavy door into someone. So I'm apologizing profusely as I open it the rest of the way, and it's Todd. I feel stupid on many levels (most of which being the hat). We chat for a bit and I continue with my laundry.

I hope he will still be willing to be my friend after this. Maybe I'll make him some cookies.

Boticelli

Have you ever played Boticelli?
Last night, JP, Tim, and I watched Top Chef and then decided to play instead of watching more TV. I personally love the game because it combines my freakish knowledge of famous people with the ability to trick JP. I usually like to play by guessing ridiculous things when it's not my turn. If someone's letter is "K" and they are male, I'll say things to my team like, "I bet it's Meg Ryan!" Only last night, it backfired.

It was JP's turn. His letter was "S". I have played this game with JP many times and I know him quite well, so I can usually figure his out after a bit. So we're playing and I fake-whisper to Tim, "It's Sarcozy!"

And then stop. Because knowing JP, he often picks French politicians. And it actually fits. And I saw his face when I said that. And - it was now Tim's turn. So, of course, he asks about Sarcozy and wins the round. I felt so dumb.

Photography

I've been trying to catch up with posting pictures at my Shutterfly account and actually work on my photography, posted on my Flickr. Check it out, let me know what you think.

Poor Petra

So, it started like this:

Love At First Flight For Swan And Boat
Wild Black Swan Won't Separate From Paddle Boat In German Lake
April 2, 2007

(CBS) For Petra, a wild black swan, it was love at first flight when she flew into a German swan lake last year and spotted the mate of her dreams through the woods, CBS News correspondent Mark Phillips reports.

Petra had a weakness, it seems, for the big, strong, silent type. And to a swan. what could be bigger, stronger or more silent than the plastic paddle boat she had fallen for.

They spent a happy summer together, and when winter came and the other swans flew south, Petra refused to leave.

Local zookeepers actually tried to drive the couple apart, introducing Petra to single male swans. But she wasn't interested, and the keepers gave up. They didn't want to stress her, they say.

So when the time came to take the boat out of the boathouse and put it back in the lake, the press swarmed in. Petra was there waiting. The question: Had she gotten over her love boat? Had she realized the relationship was going nowhere — that she and the boat were just too different? Or had love survived the long cold winter?

The boat was put back into its natural habitat, and towed to a quiet corner of Swan Lake, their corner.

They couldn't hold her back.

Frankly, the reunion of Brad and Jennifer might have caused less fuss. But this is a celebrity romance that looks like it will last.

Last week, I was so excited to see this:

Swan, Swan-Shaped Boat To Part Ways
Mar 19, 2008

(AP) A long love story is over at a German zoo: Petra the swan and her swan-shaped paddleboat are parting ways.

Petra, a black swan, became a minor celebrity in 2006 when she became so attached to the boat - which is shaped like an oversized white swan - that she refused to leave its side.

Officials in the western city of Muenster decided to let her stay with it over the winter, bringing both bird and boat into a city zoo.

However, Petra met a live swan this winter. Zoo director Joerg Adler says she and her new mate - a white swan - are building a nest together.

The boat is to be returned to its local owner on Thursday.

But not everyone gets a happy ending:

Swan, paddleboat getting back together
Wed Mar 26

BERLIN - Petra the swan has a new home and so does her beloved swan-shaped paddleboat. In 2006, Petra, a black swan, became so attached to the boat — shaped like an outsized white swan — that she refused to leave its side at a lake near a zoo in the German city of Muenster.

Petra and her paddleboat were taken to the zoo.

Zoo officials finally parted bird and boat last week after Petra settled down with a real white swan and the boat was returned to the lake. But the romance was short-lived. The zoo says that, on Saturday, her new beau flew off and sought out the company of other black swans.

A zoo statement says that Petra "appears to feel lonely" and is swimming around in an agitated state. The solution? On Friday, she will be taken back to the nearby lake and her faithful paddleboat.

It really is like some sort of Hollywood love story. Poor Petra.

Is it wrong that I love being the damsel in distress?

(original photo and manipulation by Héctor Casanova)

Check out some more awesome Héctor-ness here. Then go buy Screamland #1 and pre-order #2 and #3 here.

Light me up that cigarette, and I strap shoes on my feet.

As we get older and wiser, our lifestyles change. Things that were acceptable or a normal part of our daily lives slowly change or stop. I no longer spend just about every night hanging out with friends. A Friday night in doesn't make me feel like a loser, it makes me feel recharged and relaxed. Cooking dinner for friends and hanging out until 11 (instead of 2, 3, 4 am) become some of the best nights. Let's face it - we may not be old, but our bodies have all passed their pinnacle of functionality. We just can't crazy it up like we used to. A candy bar is not an acceptable breakfast/lunch food. Drinking or even just being out late every night hurts now.

Now, don't get me wrong. We still party like rock stars on occasion, and with my insomnia, seeing 2 am on a weeknight is not particularly a rarity. But it's not the same.

Except for my smoking.

I still smoke. Over the years, most of my friends have quit or limited their smoking. Will and Shan don't smoke in their house. Rob, Ryan, and Kathy only smoke when they drink. Josh and Brian quit outright. And I'm still smoking close to a pack a day.

It used to be that most of us smoked, and those who didn't tolerated it without a word. What happened? When did I become ostracized? When did people start looking down on me because of my addiction? Are they under the impression that I think I'm cool for smoking? Is it really necessary for you to tell me that you hate going to bars because of all the smoke? Anytime I hear criticism of smokers, I feel a little pang in my heart. Don't you think I would quit if I could? Do you think that I enjoy standing outside when it's 20 degrees out, all alone, because I just have to have that cigarette? I am leaving places and people that I was enjoying. Do you know that I feel mortified every time I ask a restaurant for a smoking table and the host/hostess says (with pity and/or scorn in their eyes) "we don't have a smoking section"?

It's fine that you don't like smoking. I'm used to it because I grew up in a smoking household. I don't mind the smell. I love the physical act of smoking. Having ashtrays scattered throughout my home is perfectly acceptable to me. You don't have to let me smoke in your house. You don't have to enjoy smelling like smoke after a night at the bar. But, please - nothing you say makes quitting smoking any easier for me. It just makes me feel like an outcast, guilty of something, judged and pitied. No one wants that.

Um, wow?

So, aside from one comment, this is pretty freakin' spot on (I have high self esteem). Take it yourself here.
When you're done, read the general Wiki about it and then read the one about your specific type. It explained away the "low self esteem" comment (I have a 3 leaning).

Seriously, this is pretty fucking scary guys.


You chose CX - your Enneagram type is TWO (aka "The Charmer").

"I must help others"

Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs.

How to Get Along with Me

• Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
• Share fun times with me.
• Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
• Let me know that I am important and special to you.
• Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.

In Intimate Relationships

• Reassure me that I am interesting to you.
• Reassure me often that you love me.
• Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me.

What I Like About Being a TWO

• being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
• knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
• being generous, caring, and warm
• being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
• being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor

What's Hard About Being a TWO

• not being able to say no
• having low self-esteem
• feeling drained from overdoing for others
• not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
• criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
• being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to them
• working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings

TWOs as Children Often

• are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
• try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
• are outwardly compliant
• are popular or try to be popular with other children
• act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
• are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted TWOs), or quiet and shy (the more introverted TWOs)

TWOs as Parents

• are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)
• are often playful with their children
• wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?"
• can become fiercely protective

I, Jen, take you, Doug... (part 2)

And onto Saturday.

I had to be at Pelusi's at 11 to get my hair and makeup done. I've never had my makeup done before, but since I have no idea how to recreate eyebrows, I wanted to have a professional do it. 2 hours later and I looked a little funny - tons of makeup, classy Edwardian updo, and jeans and a tshirt. We went back to the Fridy's, where there were 5 bridesmaids, 4 significant others, my in-laws, 2 dogs, 1 cat, and a photographer. Needless to say, "chaos" has never been so well-defined for me. But we all got dressed and all gussied up and looked great!


And then there's the ceremony. Luckily, I rode to the wedding with Lisa and Ian (Jen's high school friend and her husband) and Lisa read me the speech she had written. I almost cried in the car, so I was prepared at the wedding. Joe read a sonnet he had written for the occasion and when he lost it during the reading, so did I. Tears just poured down my cheeks for the rest of the ceremony and even a bit afterwards. My favorite part was during their vows when they said "you are my favorite and my best". This is something that I tell JP on a regular basis, and it was nice to know that the same exact sentiment is voiced by other people in love.


So, the reception. Bryan gave a lovely toast (why are grown men crying just so touching?) and Jess and Jaime (another bridesmaid) presented Doug and Jen with their gift from all their friends - we bought them their honeymoon to Amsterdam. Airfare, a cute loft apartment for the week, and about $500 spending cash. They were overwhelmed and wonderfully excited about it.

The rest of the evening was spent eating, drinking, and being merry.

First of all - the food. It was amazing. Super delicious, not your average wedding fare. I'm fairly certain that my father didn't realize the seitan fajitas weren't actually meat. My brother and all the other vegetarians could eat 90% of the food. Everything was labeled as 'vegan' or 'vegetarian' to help everyone out, and when Ian needed to ask the caterer about what had nuts in it, she told him the only thing with nuts in it was the salad, because Jen had called them to make sure nuts were not featured heavily because of his allergy. The caterers were all great - really helpful when the cupcake lady was over an hour late, lost in Leechburg and without her cell phone. But she did arrive eventually, and we all got to eat Dozen cupcakes instead of wedding cake. Yay!

And the drinking. Like at my wedding, my father-in-law insisted on being in charge of the booze. He and JP tasted wines and ordered cases of them. They pored over the beer list every chance they got and had expert Jess advice to rely on as well. He even got a case of Rodenbach Red for me, one of my newest beer discoveries. Unfortunately, everyone else loved the Rodenbach as well. After I had downed my second and there was no more to be had, I decided to switch to champagne. After I consumed the rest of our table's bottle left over from the toast, I took to stealing the half empty bottles from other tables. I spent the rest of the evening walking around with a bottle of champagne, drinking directly from it.


Since much of our guest list overlapped from our wedding, I spent a lot of the evening wandering around to talk to various co-workers of my father-in-law. They are all some of the coolest adults I have ever met. I spent the rest of the night getting to know my brother's date (who is not a "date" date, but a really good friend from out of town) and talking to Jen's friends. I spent a fair amount of time talking to Héctor, who used to run the gallery where Jen has had several shows (one of which I went to KC to see last year). He is also an artist and started telling me about the comic series he has been working on, Screamland. Check it out on MySpace here, and here is a really great interview with Héctor and Harold that includes some good images. So, why am I plugging a comic book series in the middle of my blog entry about Jen's wedding (you mean, besides the fact that Héctor is amazingly talented and we wish him luck in all he does)? Because Héctor needed a girl about to be attacked by Dracula, cowering in a hallway. A 30's starlet type, he said. And I fit the bill. So we did a mini photo shoot and I'm going to be in one of the upcoming issues! My second 15 minutes of mini-fame!

There were many interesting people there, but none moreso than this person I call "scrunchie guy". I am very intrigued by his choice of hair, as I usually have this same hair while washing my face. At least the scrunchies matched the wedding colors!


Anyways...it was finally time to leave and we managed to get lost on the way to the after party, with 2 other cars following us. Luckily, Erik was one of them and he has a GPS, so we were golden. We all hung out in the hotel for a few hours and then JP, Bryan, Jen, and I all came back home. They had a 5:45 am train to catch, and I needed some sleep.

Overall, I have to say it was quite the lovely time. Not being wasted and making as ass out of myself was great, too! Who knew you could drink in moderation and still have a blast?

Rock on, Jen and Doug, rock on.

(all photographs by Mary Jansen, except for scrunchie guy. He is from a random McDonald relative/friend.)

I, Jen, take you, Doug... (part 1)

Ahhhh, the sweet, bittersweet bliss of 2 days after Christmas Jen and Doug's wedding. The relief of "now i can relax" and the crushing disappointment of "wow, that was just too awesome and it will never happen again". A big round of applause to absolutely everyone who participated. We did it! We got Doug and Jen married!

Now, last week was craziness. It started out well enough, but as more and more people converged on our world, things got more and more complicated. There were centerpieces to make, brunch to have, decorating to be done, people to coordinate, houses to clean, girls to be prettified. We managed to do it all.

The first major event was the brunch I held at our apartment on Thursday morning for 13 people. Yup, I managed to feed and entertain all 13 of them before 11 a.m. This involved getting everything ready the night before, including cleaning the entire apartment to spotlessness for both the brunch and our weekend guests. So we had me, JP, Jen, Doug, Jess (other sister-in-law), her bf Goat, Jean, Joe (my in-laws), Bobby, Noah (JP's uncle and 4 year old cousin), Malcolm, Maureen, and Leeanne (Doug's father, mother, and sister, respectively) eating quiche and drinking mimosas and coffee at our place. It was lovely to hang out with everyone and I'm a huge fan of feeding/hosting people. However, I did have the looming prospect of an 8 hour work day after this, while everyone else ran off to do fun things. That evening, I left work for a split second to get the worst eyebrow waxing of my life. It involved a large amount of swelling, me missing half an eyebrow, and the lady spilling the wax in my hair. Overall, I would have to recommend you not go to Daniel&Co. to get waxed.

So, the next night was the arrival of our houseguests (Bryan (best man and glassblower extraodinaire) and Jen (friend from KC)), rehearsal, and dinner. The venue was in Leechburg. Suffice to say, it's far away, in the middle of nowhere, and a little difficult to find. After we all converged, rehearsal was delayed by the fact that my father-in-law insisted that between all of us, we drink one of each kind of beer (10 different kinds) and have an "example" bottle for the bar to list the beers. We managed to do this and rehearse and get to the dinner where we met up with bunches of other people. Omi (JP's grandmother) was one of the first I talked to. She is not quite all there. However, her recent memory problems have not made her forget that she has no tact whatsoever. We had a conversation that went like this.

Omi (looking me up and down): Are you pregnant?
Me: No!
Omi: Well, you look it.
Me: (pause, as I try to think of the appropriate response that doesn't involve yelling.)
Omi: Has anyone else told you that?
Me: No.
Omi (looking me up and down again): Now you're just sucking it in!
Me: Yes, and I will be for the rest of the night, thanks.
I walked away at that point.

Here is a pic of me at rehearsal, talking with Jen and Uncle Bobby. I am wearing an empire waist dress. Maybe that confused her.

(picture by Mary Jansen)

Can you spot the baby bump?

Pot-Luck Pro

I just took a quiz about my decorating style. I am completely unsurprised by the results below. What's your decorating style?

POT-LUCK PRO

Your home certainly stands out from your neighbors'! There's nothing average or ordinary about the place, and that's just the way you like it. You have a maverick approach to interior design and decoration, gleaning ideas, inspiration and objects from the unlikeliest of places. Over the years, though, this has synthesised into something unmistakably 'you'. No one dares tell you how to furnish your home: you've got your own set of unique guidelines and that's all that matters.

Living Room

You go for a fusion of styles that express your taste and personality. In the wrong hands, an eclectic approach can end up looking like a living room of leftovers. The great thing is that anything goes (well, almost). The challenge is to seamlessly pull everything together. Build up the elements of the room around key pieces of furniture, and exercise some discipline: lucky dips are all well and good, but what if you end up with the proverbial bad penny? By accessorizing the room with broadly retro-style pieces you can help pull the look together without ruining the impact of key pieces of furniture. Fresh, bright colours at the 'cool' end of the spectrum are welcoming and airy, while eclectic black and white make for a bold, yet chic statement. Whether you're chilling out, socializing or surfing the net, your living room's a place that reflects the way you live your life.

Bedroom

You like it rugged and rustic in the bedroom. Sleep is fundamentally important to our well being. In busy towns and cities, noise can often hamper a good night's sleep. Soft furnishings really do absorb sound, and touch is such an important sense in the bedroom, from crisp, linen sheets to wool or even sheepskin underfoot. You favor an almost elemental approach to interior design in your bedroom, using vibrant colors to make a bold statement.

Dining Room

You're a maverick, blending a melting-pot style that's all your own. At home, the pleasure you take in your 'pick 'n' mix' approach to decorating gives the dining space a 'pot luck' sense of fun. The dining table is the perfect place for you to show off your kaleidoscopic approach to interior design and decoration: cups, saucers, plates and glasses of different colors, shapes and sizes can look vibrant and fun when executed with flair: just don't go overboard or try too hard. When it comes to entertaining, you like quite simple (some might say 'peasant') food with big, robust flavors.

Home Office

A little of what you fancy does you good -- even when you're working. These days, almost all of us have a home office: a desk and a chair in one corner of the living room with adjustable task lighting and adequate filing is all it takes. Your innate sense of style will probably lead you to creating a work space that's as individual as the rest of your home. Just bear in mind basic ergonomic principles, especially when choosing a desk and chair.

Conclusion

You revel in the juxtaposition of furnishings and objects that have caught your eye. Who needs rules when you've got great style?

Status message wars

I know I've mentioned the Gmail status message wars before here, but today was a good 'un.

Shan: go see Into the Wild...immediately.
Freya: Before you go see 'Into the Wild', read the book!
Tim: Before you read the book or go see the movie "Into The Wild", find me a job or a large sack of money
Zac: Before you read any books, see any movies or give Tim a sack of money, make sure you test your smoke alarms regularly.

Quick post because I am falling behind on posting (again!) and have waaaay too much going on to organize any thought processes.

A controversial subject

After seeing this in my RSS reader today and reading some of the abhorrent comments left, I wanted to respond to a lot of what was said.

First of all, I have had many friends and family in the service industry. I've never worked any job where tips were part of it, but I've dealt with having to make people's food (Bruegger's) or handle their grievances (Service Desk at The Book Center). I have to say that, in general, the public is a bunch of assholes.

Let's just get one thing straight from the get-go. Do you know what the hourly wage is for bartenders/servers? It does vary from state to state (and I imagine establishment to establishment), but minimum wage for a waitress in PA is $2.83.

$2.83!

This means that most to all of your wages are taken by taxes. I have known servers that actually received a negative paycheck because they had to pay taxes on their tips and the hourly wage didn't cover it.

So, yes, a tip is an indication of the service you have been provided. But do people realize if they don't tip, they are actually costing the server money?
Now, I don't know anyone who doesn't tip, but I have witnessed other people who tip poorly, and I always make sure that I make up for it (while quietly seething and judging them). As a general rule, I leave 20%. Period, end of story. If I get great service, I'll leave more. If I get shitty service, I leave 15%, though I'm not sure that I'm really getting the message across that the service was crap. They probably just think I'm an average tipper. But I am incapable of leaving less, even in foreign countries where 10% is a cheer-worthy tip.

However...I tend to get annoyed at tip jars in coffee places and ice cream shops. I know that Starbucks pays higher than minimum wage. I realize that yes, baristas are part of the service industry. But they're not delivering my coffee to my table. They don't ask me if I want refills. It's the same as when I go to Target and someone rings me up. That is just as much of a service, and I don't think anyone would think that the poor cashier chick at Target deserves a tip for that. I do tip for take out because I know that a server probably put all that together for me. And I definitely tip my hairdresser/manicurist (ok, the one time I got a manicure)/etc.

Many people believe that tips are something that the server should "earn". I understand that to a certain extent. A 25-30% tip should be a reward, not necessarily the norm. So why don't servers just get paid more? Well, think about it. Let's say you make $X an hour. You get a table of 10 obnoxious frat boys. I think that you deserve the higher tip that should come with the higher bill just for dealing with that. If you were paid hourly, you would make the same regardless of the fact that you had a table of 4 or 10 (simplified example, I know. Most servers don't just deal with one table at a time.).

I know that bartending or being a server can be quite lucrative, especially if you're good at it. Honestly, though, who wants to deal with that? Late nights, on your feet the whole time, rare or nonexistent breaks, dealing with the general populace...I'm more than happy to pay an extra 20% solely for that fact that I would never want to do that. The only pluses may be walking out with cash in hand and some free coke from your manager.

What do you guys think? How much do you tip? Does every server deserve a tip?

Stephanie Pierce has gotten through.

Nikki and Olivia at 'Read Across America'

Pupils read, sing to troops in Iraq through the Internet
By DAN IRWIN
New Castle News

Officially, it was called “Read Across America.”

But Stacy Henry’s first-graders at Thaddeus Stevens Primary Center went one better. They read across the globe.

Gathering in the multi-purpose room of their East Side school, the class read “I Can Read with My Eyes Shut” by Dr. Seuss — Sunday, after all, was the author’s birthday — to a group of servicemen and women stationed at Balad Air Base in Iraq.

Also in the audience, which was able to see and hear the students over an Internet hookup, was Army Spc. Stephanie Pierce, who has been deployed since May to Qayyarah Airfield West in northern Iraq. Pierce’s daughter, 7-year-old Nicolette, is a member of Henry’s class.

The event was Henry’s idea, spawned last Thursday when she decided to combine the National Education Association’s “Read Across America” day with a salute to U.S. troops in general, and to Nicolette’s mom in particular.

“As a military family,” said Henry, whose husband, Todd, is a Army Reserve specialist based out of Kittanning, “I went to the USO and they were able to get us all connected.

“As a mom, if he (Todd) is ever deployed, I would want my children to be able to do something like this.”

Henry tried various avenues to set up the connection before finally sealing the deal with Bob Baumann, president and CEO of the USO of Pennsylvania and Southern New Jersey.

“I have a lot of contacts in Iraq,” Baumann said, “so we were able to put this whole thing together for her. (Pennsylvania has) one of the top four groups of National Guard deployed. They are our citizen soldiers; they didn’t sign up to be soldiers their entire life, nor did their children.

“In regular military service, the kids know what comes with that, and they learn to live with it. With the citizen soldiers, it’s a whole different world. So it’s the responsibility of the USO and Pennsylvanians to provide whatever we can to help the soldiers and their families have some normalcy in their lives.”

On hand for the event, in addition to the entire Thaddeus Stevens student body, were Nicolette’s father, James; her grandmother, Rhonda Deck; and her sisters, Ava, 2, and Olivia, 3. Another military family — Roberto and Maria Santiago — also were present. Roberto, a reservist, and Maria, who served 10 years in the Army, have a son, Roberto, in Henry’s class.

As for James and Stephanie Pierce, they are New Castle natives who lived in Georgia about five years while Stephanie was stationed at Fort Stewart. When she left for Iraq in May for a 15-month deployment, James and his daughters returned to New Castle to be closer to family.

James said he can talk to his wife by phone, but they keep in touch predominantly by Internet, through laptops and Web cams. He works as a self-employed tattoo artist, so he is able to be home with his daughters. His mother, Rhonda Deck, also helps out.

“It’s not as bad for us as it is for some,” he said. “Some of the infantry guys, they go three months without a room. She has a room to sleep in and an office.

“Not that it’s easy for her by any means. It’s horrible for her that she has to be there. She’s missing birthdays and holidays, and things like that. (Ava) will be a monster by the time she sees her again. She wasn’t even walking when she left, now she’s running and jumping all around. That sort of thing gets to you after a while.”

As the students file in, a movie screen shows pictures of the Thaddeus Stevens multi-purpose room in one corner, and soldiers gathered in Balad in the other. The Balad visual is lost just as the program begins, but Baumann gets on his phone and confirms that Iraq is still seeing and hearing the students.

Henry’s class — clad in red, white and blue vests with stars, stripes and “USA” on the front — is already in and seated, directly in front of a Web cam. Others file in to take seats on the floor behind them, but before they do, they enthusiastically belt out “Yankee Doodle Dandy.”

Once they’re in, Baumann asks for – and gets — a deafening “Hello, Balad, Iraq!” shouted in unison.

Henry’s class then reads aloud, and the story time is followed by the entire school singing Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the USA.” When the music ends, applause and whistles from halfway around the world quickly fill the void.

Asked by Principal Debbie DeBlasio how they liked the children’s presentation, one soldier is heard to yell “It was great! I’m from Pennsylvania,” while the rest again break into loud applause.

The kids close with “God Bless America,” then shout “thank you” to their cyber-audience.

With that, Baumann takes the stage to present Nicolette with a camouflage-clad Beanie Baby bear for her and her sisters. He begins to tell about the USO, when suddenly, the speakers erupt again.

The words “Hello, Nicolette!” resound through a room instantly stunned into silence. “I love you!”

Stephanie Pierce has gotten through.

Nicolette and Olivia — Ava has fallen asleep in her grandmother’s arms — are shepherded in front of the Web cam to tell their mother hello and that they love her, too. Though not another word is heard back from Iraq, Baumann is on the phone again, and confirms that Stephanie has heard her daughters, as well as the entire program.

“I didn’t think she’d make it,” said Nicolette, who also is concerned that her Beanie Baby says “For ages 3 and up” and Ava is only 2. “When I heard her, it made me happy.”

As the students file out to return to their classrooms, Baumann learns that Nicolette isn’t the only one to be touched by the day’s events.

“They saw and heard every word of it,” she said of the military audience in Iraq, “and I was told that when those kids were singing, there were a lot of soldiers over there with tears in their eyes.”

This is the end

So after about 40 days of filming, 'Zack and Miri Make a Porno' is finally done. Tonight, Seth Rogen, Kevin Smith, and Craig Robinson were all at the Improv and we went. Seating was first come, first serve and I desperately wanted to be close to the stage. JP, Tim, and Jenn all agreed to accompany me in line an hour before the show started.

If you don't live in Pittsburgh, you don't understand why that was the stupidest idea ever. If you don't live in a place where the wind chill easily gets to around 10, you definitely don't understand how stupid this was.

After an hour, I was almost crying with the pain of my toes. The rest of me was cold, for sure, but my toes were killing me. However, it did pay off. While in line, we spotted Jason Mewes and Elizabeth Banks - and we managed to get seats right against the stage. Kevin Smith was amusing. So was Seth Rogen. The rest of it was sometimes funny, never hysterical. Highlight of the evening was when Seth Rogen took the stage and was looking around as we all clapped. He made eye contact and gave me a grin and head nod in response to what I can only imagine was my foolish smile. Yay!

So, that's it for my ability to meet/hang out with Seth Rogen. I guess I have to shelve my dreams for now.

p.s. I know we call Silent Bob "Silent Bob" for a reason, but man, was I reminded of that when Kevin Smith took the stage. They even have a similar cadence when they speak. As we were leaving, Tim remarked that seeing him just made him want to hang out with our Silent Bob, who is far cooler. I had to agree. Who needs celebrities when you have friends? Now, I just need to find us a "Seth Rogen" to add to the group...

You know that I love cake, part 2.

So after finding this:

this:

and this:

I really want to make my own 'Cooking by the Book' video because mine would be far better than these. Here's the consensus from my friends:

me: so, I really want to do this
make my own cake video
Tim Scott: /disowns friend

me: I want you and JP to be in it

Tim Notari: no

me: like, really want you to

puh-LEASE?
Tim Notari: what on gaia's green tits makes you think I want to be in a home video dancing and singing a song I loathe

I told you I would make it

if we can edit in nazi propaganda films

as long as I can sing it as if it was death metal

Why read fan fiction?

Jessica Bridges sums up my thoughts nicely.

You know that I love cake. (And surreal, whimsical things.)

p.s. If you actually go to YouTube to watch it and click on the video information, the lyrics are there. I now have the song memorized. Lol.

Hurt Unit

This weekend, Kathleen came into town. I decided to take her on a tour of my life.
We went to go see 'The Other Boleyn Girl' because we both adored the book. I haven't seen such a bad movie in a long time. This wasn't bad like "they didn't follow the book" bad. It was bad like "this isn't even entertaining" bad. I'm not going to write a review or anything, but just to bring things into perspective - I inappropriately laughed after the rape scene. Loudly. I also laughed once the credits rolled, out of sheer relief that it was over.

Anyways...after the movie, Zack, Kathleen, her brother Jon, and I all went to PHI to meet up with people. I forgot that Kathleen doesn't drink as much as I do, and I had her do 3 shots with me in quick succession. I was fairly sober, and she didn't seem all that drunk (just extra bubbly and fun), but she ended up being taken home by Zack and Jon much earlier than I would've preferred. Sorry, hun...that was totally my fault.
So we continued our evening. I really need to stop drinking at PHI on the weekends. Our bartender, Binder, doesn't actually close the bar. There is no last call. If there is no last call, I don't know when to stop drinking. I also don't have any idea what time it is. So, at 4:30, we left to go to Ritter's for some breakfast. Zac, JP, Silent Bob, Rob, and I all wandered off to Zac's car.

Along the way, I managed to fall. Normally, when you stumble and fall, you fall forward or just sort of collapse straight down. I fell spectacularly backwards and I have no idea how. Ice, maybe? I also managed to pull JP down with me. When I got up, my elbow hurt. Turns out, I had scraped most of the skin off of it. I had also somehow managed to scratch JP's face - about 4 inches across his cheek.


It wasn't until the next day that I realized I had also severely bruised my thigh (nice bright purple about the size and shape of a cracked egg in a pan) and my poor arse. Do you understand how much impact is required to actually raise a bruise on the meaty part of your ass? Yeah, a lot. I also woke up yesterday (at 2, no less, since we had gone to bed at 6) sore as hell. My back hurts, my legs hurt, my ribs (?), my elbow, ass, and thigh still hurt. When did falling become so painful beyond the immediate impact? Is it possible that it's because I'm old? I feel like someone beat the shit out of me.

Genealogy of Mario

This totally cracked me up. The summary at the end is the best part.

As explained to me by Japanese 6-year-olds.

Edmund Dennis

So, my cousin's wife had a baby this week. Apparently, it was a tough birth and the poor little guy has been in the NICU because he was having seizures. He doesn't have an infection and his CAT scan was fine, so they're taking him off medication to see what happens. Think happy thoughts about him and Rachael for me? Prayers, call in some karma points, whatever it is you do. She's (unsurprisingly) physically and mentally exhausted as well.

p.s. He wasn't even cleaned up yet when this picture was taken. Just think - minutes old and already on the internet!