continuing with the theme...

I know, I know. another entry about Harry Potter? I just can't help it! I can't think of anything else right now (except for my un-wellness of the moment, and that's far less interesting to think about), so I'll enlighten you with a hilarious tale.
Lately, I have been reading Harry Potter porn-fic to satisfy my Harry Potter cravings. Most of them are quite amusing, some are well-written, and many of them explore topics and pairings that I don't want to think about. Luckily, they do tell you who's in each story. So if you don't want to read the one about Hagrid/Buckbeak (ahhhhhh!!!), you know not to open it (thank God for small favors, huh??). I stumbled across an absolutely ridiculous tale last night that I just have to share...

It's present day (ish) at Hogwarts. Snape is Potions master, Lupin is doing something at Hogwarts and living there, and Sirius is on house arrest (at Hogwarts) pending his re-trial. Harry and Draco get into some kind of altercation during Potions, and Draco throws a Hermaphrodite Spell at Harry, but misses and hits Snape. Snape now possesses both female and male bits.
Meanwhile, Snape and Sirius have been having some sort of "I hate you, let's have sex" affair for a while now. So Sirius has sex with Snape's girly parts. Lupin realizes that he has always wanted Snape and decides to make his move. He also attends to the girl parts.


Snape gets pregnant.


Ok, it's almost worth reading this entire super long story just for the scene in which Snape has to ask Dumbledore for maternity leave. Or when he tells Voldemort he can't be evil for awhile.
Anyways, both Sirius and Lupin figure it out on their own, and both realize that it has to be Sirius's because werewolves are sterile in both human and wolf form. But of course Sirius has no desire to be a father to Snape's child, and Lupin wants a family, so he decides to go and confess his love. Snape is kind of standoffish, but finally admits that he is also in love with Lupin. Dumbledore sends Snape 2 rings and tells him to propose to Lupin, which he doesn't do. Snape goes into labor during the full moon, and wolf Lupin disapparates to him. Sirius follows to try and control Lupin and Snape has a baby girl, whom everyone loves.

Heartwarming, really.