obsession

WARNING: spoilers again! if you haven't read up to Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, you should not read this!

I've been waiting for this moment for over 5 years now. the last Harry Potter book comes out on Saturday, July 21st. I'll be at Pitt's bookstore at midnight to get my copy. I'll spend the weekend reading it. I really don't want to go out. I don't want to have to eat. I want to read.
I've already got butterflies. I can't think of anything else. I feel totally useless. I can't concentrate. I don't want to do anything except read about it, watch the movies again, read the books, whatever. I want to reminisce with others and propose theories, however outlandish they may be. I'm counting down the days and hours. this entire week will be devoted to Harry Potter.
when I read Harry Potters, it is an all-consuming thing for me. I always want to continue reading. every time I'm forced to put the book down, I think longingly of the next time I get to pick it up. over the past month, I have read all the books and watched all of the movies. I even read Order and Half-Blood Prince twice. and yesterday, I went to see 'Order' for the second time. and I'm still not satisfied. I'm thinking about picking up HBP again.

in order to not be disappointed, I want the following to happen in the book:
- Snape: good or evil? I'd really like to be vindicated and have him be evil. I've always hated the guy, even if others (ahem, SHANNON, JP) haven't and have even defended him!
- Ron and Hermione: I know it's cheesy, but I want them to end up together.
- Harry and Ginny: the same. I need to stop reading romance novels. it makes me expect too much.
- the Dursley's: some redemption on their part. at least Aunt Petunia.
- Lupin and Tonks: don't kill one of them and not the other, please? I'd like at least one relationship to hope for.
- DON'T KILL HARRY: please. it's really all I ask. I'll give up all my other hopes if you'd just keep him alive.
- OR HERMIONE OR RON: let the 3 live. having any of them live without one another would be torturous.
- KILL VOLDEMORT: c'mon...you know you want to.
- Sirius: I want him back. in whatever form is fine! just give me more Sirius. more! I miss him so much.
- Let Neville shine: don't make him screw anything up in this book. we know he's capable now. hopefully, he's the one that ends up as a teacher at Hogwart's.
- Draco: he's a little shit, but I can see the possibility for redemption. let him redeem himself, but die in the process. that's fine with me.
- no "heaven" scenes: my God, if you DO kill Harry, please don't give us some awful heaven scene where he's reunited with his parents, Sirius, and Dumbledore. it makes me queasy to think about that.
- tell me more, tell me more: 1) about Lily and James and the original Order! 2) about Dumbledore's past! 3) about R.A.B (Regulus, as far as I'm concerned)
- some sort of epilogue-y wrap up: give me professions, marriages, children, etc. and then please sell the rights to your world and SOMEONE write prequels/sequels.

I hope I can get through this week. I'm afraid by Wednesday or Thursday that I may be in a corner, hugging my knees and rocking, saying "don't kill Harry! please? don't let him die! don't end the book! NOOOOOOOoooooooo!"

anyone got some Xanax? I haven't been this freaked out since my wedding.