have you ever been the whole way around the D.C. beltway and then some? LeeAnn, Todd, Brian, and I have!

this weekend, Zac's new lease started for his apartment in Richmond. he had asked awhile ago for volunteers to drive down with him and help. LeeAnn and I quickly volunteered, but that wasn't good enough. we needed MEN. so Brian and Todd added themselves to the mix. missing were usual suspects JP, Will, and Shannon. JP has way too much law school going on at the moment, and Will and Shan already planned to visit Teri in Harrisburg. so Zac drives up last Wednesday and we hang out until Saturday morning, when we have to wake up early and load his storage unit into the giant 17 foot uhaul. that was less painful than anyone had anticipated, and after picking up the 10 foot extension trailer and loading Zac's car onto it, we're off.

the drive down to Richmond is fairly unremarkable. 6 1/2 hours of rolling hills, followed by traffic, followed by rollling hills. we did stop in Breezewood to eat and while there, called the hotel that we were all staying at. Zac asked if there was anywhere to park the uhaul near the hotel. they said they had a garage, but if it didn't fit in there, there was a place that he could park. yay. makes life much easier.

Brian, LeeAnn, and I arrive before the giant truck (big surprise) and check into the one hotel room. we open our door and are completely amazed. we have a huge suite (possibly larger than my 2 BR apartment) with a living room, tiny dining area, large bathroom, and a bedroom with 2 queen beds. the beds have the largest neckroll pillows I have ever seen. the first order of business was to drop my luggage, run to the bed, jump up and down a couple times, then pick up the pillow and proceed to joust with Brian. he won.
upon exploring our bathroom, we found some interesting things:
1) a bench in the shower. that's kinda weird, but hey, sometimes you are just too tired to stand.
2) a bidet that shoots water extraordinarily high.
3) a small rubber ducky.
the obvious next step was to try to balance the rubber ducky on the bidet water spout. after several unsuccessful tries, both myself and the floor were covered in water, especially after I couldn't figure out how to turn the damn thing off.
Zac and Todd arrive soon after and come to hang out in our room. Todd was a little jealous when he realized that we had 2 peepholes in our door. one at eye level, the other at crotch level. it all clicked then - 2 peepholes, bench in shower, toilet surrounded by metal tubing....we obviously have a handicapped accessible room.

Zac's dad, Barry, also drove down from Philly. we all decided to go to dinner together in the Shokoe (like shock-o), some trendy Richmond neighborhood. so we go to a brewpub that sells really expensive food and have a grand ol' time. at one point, we're talking about how cigarette cherries and popping cherries are called the same thing. Zac is expressing his displeasure at the lack of distinction, and makes a comment about how they should be called fire balls. since the last comment made had been about the popping kind, this was followed by silence. Zac looked confused, and I (and possibly LeeAnn as well) was insulted about my vagina being called a fire ball. shortly thereafter, the correct version of this conversation struck us, and we all laughed.

meanwhile, the uhaul. the street that the hotel was on was half closed due to construction, meaning 1 out of the 2 lanes was blocked off by barrels. the actual lane was still open, just off-limits because this is where the construction workers park. so the receptionist at the hotel told Zac to just go ahead and park there. she said they knew the workers and that it wouldn't be a problem.
fast forward to morning. we wake up and leave our rooms at 8:30am to go get breakfast and then move Zac into his apartment. we walk outside, and lo and behold, the uhaul has been parked in. in fact, it has been parked in in every way possible. there are two rows of cars parked in the empty construction lane. the uhaul is against the curb. Zac goes to talk to the receptionist about it, and she tells him they don't know whose cars those are. and that he shouldn't have parked there in the first place. so what now?
Zac finds a surly construction worker who is parked to the right of and behind the uhaul, and he agrees to move his truck. Zac thinks he has enough clearance to now un-parallel park the uhaul with the car trailer attached. luckily, the car is no longer on the trailer. Brian tries to convince him that this is impossible. meanwhile, LeeAnn and I are waiting for the valet to get my car from the garage. Brian calls me over to convince Zac that he can't unpark the uhaul in its current situation, and I leave LeeAnn to wait for the car. when I get over there, a guy stumbles out of the passenger side of the car parked behind the (now) empty space the construction guy's truck was in. his hair is a mess and he has obviously just woken up in his car. he asks me if he needs to move his car. I tell him yes, and he promptly leaves. maybe we can get the uhaul out yet...

the valet returns with my car, and parks it in the middle of the street, tossing the keys to LeeAnn. he says, "I don't park so good," and leaves. I have to go parallel park my own car. you're a fucking valet. your job is to park. maybe you should find another occupation?

so no go with getting the uhaul out, not with the trailer attached. so we take the 2,000lb trailer off (not an exaggeration, it says the weight on the side) and sort of move it out of the way. Zac gets the truck part out, but now we have to drag the trailer to the truck and reattach it. Not what any of us want to be doing at this time in the morning. finally get this taken care of, and we all troop inside to grab our stuff and check out. this has all taken about an hour and a half.
go to the uhaul place to drop off the trailer, where we are mocked for the way we have reattached the trailer. we're also shown the nice, conveniently located hand jack attached to the trailer. no lifting was necessary. grrrrrr.

caravan to Zac's apartment to drop off the uhaul and go to breakfast. come back and unload the stuff, again, less painful than you would imagine. especially since once it was down to large furniture, LeeAnn and I go to the grocery store to buy Zac all he needs for the first couple days of life in a new apartment: toilet paper, dish soap, scrubby, ramen, frozen pizzas, beer, garbage bags, eggs, cleaning spray, cereal, milk, a small potted mum, etc.
we come back, the boys put the bed together and LeeAnn and I unpack the kitchen. then it's time to go.

we set off around 2:30. the drive home is almost as much of a disaster as unparking the uhaul. about an hour and a half into the drive, we decide to stop at a dunkin donuts advertised off the highway. once we exit, it proclaims dunkin donuts is about 3 miles away. fine. get there, eat donuts, get back on the road. I ask Todd to drive because I'm exhausted. before I fall asleep, I give the guys directions. 95 to 495 to 70 to 76. always going north or west. I fall asleep.
I wake up and groggily look out the window. 495 S.

S? S as in south??

So I ask if we are, in fact, on 495 south. Brian tentatively says no, that's just a sign for the next exit. I don't think he even convinced himself. so I call Zac. he asks where we are, and when I tell him that we've just crossed the Woodrow Wilson bridge, he gets kinda quiet. then we see "Welcome to Viriginia!". Zac tells me the fastest way at this point is to continue on the beltway. and how'd we miss 270?
270! dammit. I knew that. and if I hadn't been sleeping, I would've seen a sign for 270 and remembered. instead, we drove the whole way around the beltway. and then some. we probably lost about an hour and a half. and it's all my fault.

so we slog along, eventually making it to the turnpike, where we start talking about how we're really excited for rainstorms come summer. you know, when the rain REALLY pours down?
no lie - 5 minutes later, we are beset by an intense thunderstorm.

the rest of the trip was uneventful.