good news/bad news...why does it always come together?

a couple hours ago, my friend Steph called me. Steph and I have been friends since the ashtray days of Pitt, along with JP, Will, and everyone else. after a circuitous route of baby, marriage, and joining the army, she ended up in Georgia. we're both pretty bad about staying in touch, although she has a much better reason than I do (3 kids under 6!). we fell out of touch for about 8 months once, and when I finally called, she had had another girl! surprise!
we were, of course, concerned when the war started, but everything seemed to be ok. it wasn't until December of 2004 that we found out she was going to Iraq. in January. leaving behind 3 year old Nikki and 6 month old Olivia. ouch.
so, we fell out of touch again. I figured she was in Iraq and we had never heard from her or James on how to contact her. I tried contacting the military, but they were not very helpful, especially since all I had was a name.
so finally, one day I decide to call their old number, hoping there was a forwarding one. Steph picked up the phone. I was totally flabbergasted and super pleased. why wasn't she in Iraq?? because she was pregnant with Ava. found out about 3 days before she was going to be shipped out. sweet!
so it was a little bit before we talked again and then Steph and James came out for the wedding, which was so much fun. all was well.
I had been thinking about her for awhile now and meaning to call. today, my phone rings and it's Steph! she's coming to town! unfortunately, it's because her grandmother died. she is spending a whole week here, so we'll get to see her. super.
then the bad news: she's being deployed in May. for a year.

a year of my life is not so long. sure, some afternoons feel like a lifetime, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not so long. do you remember when you were a kid? when a year lasted forever? do you remember when your parents might be out of town or just out for the day and you actually missed them for that very short period of time?
now, can you even imagine what a year without your mother feels like to a 6 year old? a 3 year old? an almost 2 year old? I bet it's forever.
and you know what the worst part is? that even if congress gets their act together and pulls out all the troops by the end of the year (not that I really believe that it will happen), Steph will still be in Iraq for 7 months.
in 7 months, you can learn to talk. you can learn your alphabet and to read and a whole host of other things. especially if you're 2. or 3. or even 6.
I totally completely believe that James is a great dad to these girls. I don't think for a second that they will be neglected or harmed in any way just because Steph isn't there.
but wouldn't you miss your mom? I get sad when I don't see mine for a couple weeks. and I can call her. whenever I need her. and I'm 25.
what do you tell your kids? how do you tell them? how far ahead of time? how do you justify this to a kid that's losing their mother for a year? politics? oil? terrorists? I don't think I understand it, and I read/hear about it every day.

what a crazy fucked up world this can be.