Poor Petra

So, it started like this:

Love At First Flight For Swan And Boat
Wild Black Swan Won't Separate From Paddle Boat In German Lake
April 2, 2007

(CBS) For Petra, a wild black swan, it was love at first flight when she flew into a German swan lake last year and spotted the mate of her dreams through the woods, CBS News correspondent Mark Phillips reports.

Petra had a weakness, it seems, for the big, strong, silent type. And to a swan. what could be bigger, stronger or more silent than the plastic paddle boat she had fallen for.

They spent a happy summer together, and when winter came and the other swans flew south, Petra refused to leave.

Local zookeepers actually tried to drive the couple apart, introducing Petra to single male swans. But she wasn't interested, and the keepers gave up. They didn't want to stress her, they say.

So when the time came to take the boat out of the boathouse and put it back in the lake, the press swarmed in. Petra was there waiting. The question: Had she gotten over her love boat? Had she realized the relationship was going nowhere — that she and the boat were just too different? Or had love survived the long cold winter?

The boat was put back into its natural habitat, and towed to a quiet corner of Swan Lake, their corner.

They couldn't hold her back.

Frankly, the reunion of Brad and Jennifer might have caused less fuss. But this is a celebrity romance that looks like it will last.

Last week, I was so excited to see this:

Swan, Swan-Shaped Boat To Part Ways
Mar 19, 2008

(AP) A long love story is over at a German zoo: Petra the swan and her swan-shaped paddleboat are parting ways.

Petra, a black swan, became a minor celebrity in 2006 when she became so attached to the boat - which is shaped like an oversized white swan - that she refused to leave its side.

Officials in the western city of Muenster decided to let her stay with it over the winter, bringing both bird and boat into a city zoo.

However, Petra met a live swan this winter. Zoo director Joerg Adler says she and her new mate - a white swan - are building a nest together.

The boat is to be returned to its local owner on Thursday.

But not everyone gets a happy ending:

Swan, paddleboat getting back together
Wed Mar 26

BERLIN - Petra the swan has a new home and so does her beloved swan-shaped paddleboat. In 2006, Petra, a black swan, became so attached to the boat — shaped like an outsized white swan — that she refused to leave its side at a lake near a zoo in the German city of Muenster.

Petra and her paddleboat were taken to the zoo.

Zoo officials finally parted bird and boat last week after Petra settled down with a real white swan and the boat was returned to the lake. But the romance was short-lived. The zoo says that, on Saturday, her new beau flew off and sought out the company of other black swans.

A zoo statement says that Petra "appears to feel lonely" and is swimming around in an agitated state. The solution? On Friday, she will be taken back to the nearby lake and her faithful paddleboat.

It really is like some sort of Hollywood love story. Poor Petra.

Is it wrong that I love being the damsel in distress?

(original photo and manipulation by Héctor Casanova)

Check out some more awesome Héctor-ness here. Then go buy Screamland #1 and pre-order #2 and #3 here.

Light me up that cigarette, and I strap shoes on my feet.

As we get older and wiser, our lifestyles change. Things that were acceptable or a normal part of our daily lives slowly change or stop. I no longer spend just about every night hanging out with friends. A Friday night in doesn't make me feel like a loser, it makes me feel recharged and relaxed. Cooking dinner for friends and hanging out until 11 (instead of 2, 3, 4 am) become some of the best nights. Let's face it - we may not be old, but our bodies have all passed their pinnacle of functionality. We just can't crazy it up like we used to. A candy bar is not an acceptable breakfast/lunch food. Drinking or even just being out late every night hurts now.

Now, don't get me wrong. We still party like rock stars on occasion, and with my insomnia, seeing 2 am on a weeknight is not particularly a rarity. But it's not the same.

Except for my smoking.

I still smoke. Over the years, most of my friends have quit or limited their smoking. Will and Shan don't smoke in their house. Rob, Ryan, and Kathy only smoke when they drink. Josh and Brian quit outright. And I'm still smoking close to a pack a day.

It used to be that most of us smoked, and those who didn't tolerated it without a word. What happened? When did I become ostracized? When did people start looking down on me because of my addiction? Are they under the impression that I think I'm cool for smoking? Is it really necessary for you to tell me that you hate going to bars because of all the smoke? Anytime I hear criticism of smokers, I feel a little pang in my heart. Don't you think I would quit if I could? Do you think that I enjoy standing outside when it's 20 degrees out, all alone, because I just have to have that cigarette? I am leaving places and people that I was enjoying. Do you know that I feel mortified every time I ask a restaurant for a smoking table and the host/hostess says (with pity and/or scorn in their eyes) "we don't have a smoking section"?

It's fine that you don't like smoking. I'm used to it because I grew up in a smoking household. I don't mind the smell. I love the physical act of smoking. Having ashtrays scattered throughout my home is perfectly acceptable to me. You don't have to let me smoke in your house. You don't have to enjoy smelling like smoke after a night at the bar. But, please - nothing you say makes quitting smoking any easier for me. It just makes me feel like an outcast, guilty of something, judged and pitied. No one wants that.

Um, wow?

So, aside from one comment, this is pretty freakin' spot on (I have high self esteem). Take it yourself here.
When you're done, read the general Wiki about it and then read the one about your specific type. It explained away the "low self esteem" comment (I have a 3 leaning).

Seriously, this is pretty fucking scary guys.


You chose CX - your Enneagram type is TWO (aka "The Charmer").

"I must help others"

Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs.

How to Get Along with Me

• Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
• Share fun times with me.
• Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
• Let me know that I am important and special to you.
• Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.

In Intimate Relationships

• Reassure me that I am interesting to you.
• Reassure me often that you love me.
• Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me.

What I Like About Being a TWO

• being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
• knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
• being generous, caring, and warm
• being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
• being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor

What's Hard About Being a TWO

• not being able to say no
• having low self-esteem
• feeling drained from overdoing for others
• not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
• criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
• being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to them
• working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings

TWOs as Children Often

• are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
• try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
• are outwardly compliant
• are popular or try to be popular with other children
• act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
• are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted TWOs), or quiet and shy (the more introverted TWOs)

TWOs as Parents

• are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)
• are often playful with their children
• wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?"
• can become fiercely protective

I, Jen, take you, Doug... (part 2)

And onto Saturday.

I had to be at Pelusi's at 11 to get my hair and makeup done. I've never had my makeup done before, but since I have no idea how to recreate eyebrows, I wanted to have a professional do it. 2 hours later and I looked a little funny - tons of makeup, classy Edwardian updo, and jeans and a tshirt. We went back to the Fridy's, where there were 5 bridesmaids, 4 significant others, my in-laws, 2 dogs, 1 cat, and a photographer. Needless to say, "chaos" has never been so well-defined for me. But we all got dressed and all gussied up and looked great!


And then there's the ceremony. Luckily, I rode to the wedding with Lisa and Ian (Jen's high school friend and her husband) and Lisa read me the speech she had written. I almost cried in the car, so I was prepared at the wedding. Joe read a sonnet he had written for the occasion and when he lost it during the reading, so did I. Tears just poured down my cheeks for the rest of the ceremony and even a bit afterwards. My favorite part was during their vows when they said "you are my favorite and my best". This is something that I tell JP on a regular basis, and it was nice to know that the same exact sentiment is voiced by other people in love.


So, the reception. Bryan gave a lovely toast (why are grown men crying just so touching?) and Jess and Jaime (another bridesmaid) presented Doug and Jen with their gift from all their friends - we bought them their honeymoon to Amsterdam. Airfare, a cute loft apartment for the week, and about $500 spending cash. They were overwhelmed and wonderfully excited about it.

The rest of the evening was spent eating, drinking, and being merry.

First of all - the food. It was amazing. Super delicious, not your average wedding fare. I'm fairly certain that my father didn't realize the seitan fajitas weren't actually meat. My brother and all the other vegetarians could eat 90% of the food. Everything was labeled as 'vegan' or 'vegetarian' to help everyone out, and when Ian needed to ask the caterer about what had nuts in it, she told him the only thing with nuts in it was the salad, because Jen had called them to make sure nuts were not featured heavily because of his allergy. The caterers were all great - really helpful when the cupcake lady was over an hour late, lost in Leechburg and without her cell phone. But she did arrive eventually, and we all got to eat Dozen cupcakes instead of wedding cake. Yay!

And the drinking. Like at my wedding, my father-in-law insisted on being in charge of the booze. He and JP tasted wines and ordered cases of them. They pored over the beer list every chance they got and had expert Jess advice to rely on as well. He even got a case of Rodenbach Red for me, one of my newest beer discoveries. Unfortunately, everyone else loved the Rodenbach as well. After I had downed my second and there was no more to be had, I decided to switch to champagne. After I consumed the rest of our table's bottle left over from the toast, I took to stealing the half empty bottles from other tables. I spent the rest of the evening walking around with a bottle of champagne, drinking directly from it.


Since much of our guest list overlapped from our wedding, I spent a lot of the evening wandering around to talk to various co-workers of my father-in-law. They are all some of the coolest adults I have ever met. I spent the rest of the night getting to know my brother's date (who is not a "date" date, but a really good friend from out of town) and talking to Jen's friends. I spent a fair amount of time talking to Héctor, who used to run the gallery where Jen has had several shows (one of which I went to KC to see last year). He is also an artist and started telling me about the comic series he has been working on, Screamland. Check it out on MySpace here, and here is a really great interview with Héctor and Harold that includes some good images. So, why am I plugging a comic book series in the middle of my blog entry about Jen's wedding (you mean, besides the fact that Héctor is amazingly talented and we wish him luck in all he does)? Because Héctor needed a girl about to be attacked by Dracula, cowering in a hallway. A 30's starlet type, he said. And I fit the bill. So we did a mini photo shoot and I'm going to be in one of the upcoming issues! My second 15 minutes of mini-fame!

There were many interesting people there, but none moreso than this person I call "scrunchie guy". I am very intrigued by his choice of hair, as I usually have this same hair while washing my face. At least the scrunchies matched the wedding colors!


Anyways...it was finally time to leave and we managed to get lost on the way to the after party, with 2 other cars following us. Luckily, Erik was one of them and he has a GPS, so we were golden. We all hung out in the hotel for a few hours and then JP, Bryan, Jen, and I all came back home. They had a 5:45 am train to catch, and I needed some sleep.

Overall, I have to say it was quite the lovely time. Not being wasted and making as ass out of myself was great, too! Who knew you could drink in moderation and still have a blast?

Rock on, Jen and Doug, rock on.

(all photographs by Mary Jansen, except for scrunchie guy. He is from a random McDonald relative/friend.)

I, Jen, take you, Doug... (part 1)

Ahhhh, the sweet, bittersweet bliss of 2 days after Christmas Jen and Doug's wedding. The relief of "now i can relax" and the crushing disappointment of "wow, that was just too awesome and it will never happen again". A big round of applause to absolutely everyone who participated. We did it! We got Doug and Jen married!

Now, last week was craziness. It started out well enough, but as more and more people converged on our world, things got more and more complicated. There were centerpieces to make, brunch to have, decorating to be done, people to coordinate, houses to clean, girls to be prettified. We managed to do it all.

The first major event was the brunch I held at our apartment on Thursday morning for 13 people. Yup, I managed to feed and entertain all 13 of them before 11 a.m. This involved getting everything ready the night before, including cleaning the entire apartment to spotlessness for both the brunch and our weekend guests. So we had me, JP, Jen, Doug, Jess (other sister-in-law), her bf Goat, Jean, Joe (my in-laws), Bobby, Noah (JP's uncle and 4 year old cousin), Malcolm, Maureen, and Leeanne (Doug's father, mother, and sister, respectively) eating quiche and drinking mimosas and coffee at our place. It was lovely to hang out with everyone and I'm a huge fan of feeding/hosting people. However, I did have the looming prospect of an 8 hour work day after this, while everyone else ran off to do fun things. That evening, I left work for a split second to get the worst eyebrow waxing of my life. It involved a large amount of swelling, me missing half an eyebrow, and the lady spilling the wax in my hair. Overall, I would have to recommend you not go to Daniel&Co. to get waxed.

So, the next night was the arrival of our houseguests (Bryan (best man and glassblower extraodinaire) and Jen (friend from KC)), rehearsal, and dinner. The venue was in Leechburg. Suffice to say, it's far away, in the middle of nowhere, and a little difficult to find. After we all converged, rehearsal was delayed by the fact that my father-in-law insisted that between all of us, we drink one of each kind of beer (10 different kinds) and have an "example" bottle for the bar to list the beers. We managed to do this and rehearse and get to the dinner where we met up with bunches of other people. Omi (JP's grandmother) was one of the first I talked to. She is not quite all there. However, her recent memory problems have not made her forget that she has no tact whatsoever. We had a conversation that went like this.

Omi (looking me up and down): Are you pregnant?
Me: No!
Omi: Well, you look it.
Me: (pause, as I try to think of the appropriate response that doesn't involve yelling.)
Omi: Has anyone else told you that?
Me: No.
Omi (looking me up and down again): Now you're just sucking it in!
Me: Yes, and I will be for the rest of the night, thanks.
I walked away at that point.

Here is a pic of me at rehearsal, talking with Jen and Uncle Bobby. I am wearing an empire waist dress. Maybe that confused her.

(picture by Mary Jansen)

Can you spot the baby bump?

Pot-Luck Pro

I just took a quiz about my decorating style. I am completely unsurprised by the results below. What's your decorating style?

POT-LUCK PRO

Your home certainly stands out from your neighbors'! There's nothing average or ordinary about the place, and that's just the way you like it. You have a maverick approach to interior design and decoration, gleaning ideas, inspiration and objects from the unlikeliest of places. Over the years, though, this has synthesised into something unmistakably 'you'. No one dares tell you how to furnish your home: you've got your own set of unique guidelines and that's all that matters.

Living Room

You go for a fusion of styles that express your taste and personality. In the wrong hands, an eclectic approach can end up looking like a living room of leftovers. The great thing is that anything goes (well, almost). The challenge is to seamlessly pull everything together. Build up the elements of the room around key pieces of furniture, and exercise some discipline: lucky dips are all well and good, but what if you end up with the proverbial bad penny? By accessorizing the room with broadly retro-style pieces you can help pull the look together without ruining the impact of key pieces of furniture. Fresh, bright colours at the 'cool' end of the spectrum are welcoming and airy, while eclectic black and white make for a bold, yet chic statement. Whether you're chilling out, socializing or surfing the net, your living room's a place that reflects the way you live your life.

Bedroom

You like it rugged and rustic in the bedroom. Sleep is fundamentally important to our well being. In busy towns and cities, noise can often hamper a good night's sleep. Soft furnishings really do absorb sound, and touch is such an important sense in the bedroom, from crisp, linen sheets to wool or even sheepskin underfoot. You favor an almost elemental approach to interior design in your bedroom, using vibrant colors to make a bold statement.

Dining Room

You're a maverick, blending a melting-pot style that's all your own. At home, the pleasure you take in your 'pick 'n' mix' approach to decorating gives the dining space a 'pot luck' sense of fun. The dining table is the perfect place for you to show off your kaleidoscopic approach to interior design and decoration: cups, saucers, plates and glasses of different colors, shapes and sizes can look vibrant and fun when executed with flair: just don't go overboard or try too hard. When it comes to entertaining, you like quite simple (some might say 'peasant') food with big, robust flavors.

Home Office

A little of what you fancy does you good -- even when you're working. These days, almost all of us have a home office: a desk and a chair in one corner of the living room with adjustable task lighting and adequate filing is all it takes. Your innate sense of style will probably lead you to creating a work space that's as individual as the rest of your home. Just bear in mind basic ergonomic principles, especially when choosing a desk and chair.

Conclusion

You revel in the juxtaposition of furnishings and objects that have caught your eye. Who needs rules when you've got great style?

Status message wars

I know I've mentioned the Gmail status message wars before here, but today was a good 'un.

Shan: go see Into the Wild...immediately.
Freya: Before you go see 'Into the Wild', read the book!
Tim: Before you read the book or go see the movie "Into The Wild", find me a job or a large sack of money
Zac: Before you read any books, see any movies or give Tim a sack of money, make sure you test your smoke alarms regularly.

Quick post because I am falling behind on posting (again!) and have waaaay too much going on to organize any thought processes.

A controversial subject

After seeing this in my RSS reader today and reading some of the abhorrent comments left, I wanted to respond to a lot of what was said.

First of all, I have had many friends and family in the service industry. I've never worked any job where tips were part of it, but I've dealt with having to make people's food (Bruegger's) or handle their grievances (Service Desk at The Book Center). I have to say that, in general, the public is a bunch of assholes.

Let's just get one thing straight from the get-go. Do you know what the hourly wage is for bartenders/servers? It does vary from state to state (and I imagine establishment to establishment), but minimum wage for a waitress in PA is $2.83.

$2.83!

This means that most to all of your wages are taken by taxes. I have known servers that actually received a negative paycheck because they had to pay taxes on their tips and the hourly wage didn't cover it.

So, yes, a tip is an indication of the service you have been provided. But do people realize if they don't tip, they are actually costing the server money?
Now, I don't know anyone who doesn't tip, but I have witnessed other people who tip poorly, and I always make sure that I make up for it (while quietly seething and judging them). As a general rule, I leave 20%. Period, end of story. If I get great service, I'll leave more. If I get shitty service, I leave 15%, though I'm not sure that I'm really getting the message across that the service was crap. They probably just think I'm an average tipper. But I am incapable of leaving less, even in foreign countries where 10% is a cheer-worthy tip.

However...I tend to get annoyed at tip jars in coffee places and ice cream shops. I know that Starbucks pays higher than minimum wage. I realize that yes, baristas are part of the service industry. But they're not delivering my coffee to my table. They don't ask me if I want refills. It's the same as when I go to Target and someone rings me up. That is just as much of a service, and I don't think anyone would think that the poor cashier chick at Target deserves a tip for that. I do tip for take out because I know that a server probably put all that together for me. And I definitely tip my hairdresser/manicurist (ok, the one time I got a manicure)/etc.

Many people believe that tips are something that the server should "earn". I understand that to a certain extent. A 25-30% tip should be a reward, not necessarily the norm. So why don't servers just get paid more? Well, think about it. Let's say you make $X an hour. You get a table of 10 obnoxious frat boys. I think that you deserve the higher tip that should come with the higher bill just for dealing with that. If you were paid hourly, you would make the same regardless of the fact that you had a table of 4 or 10 (simplified example, I know. Most servers don't just deal with one table at a time.).

I know that bartending or being a server can be quite lucrative, especially if you're good at it. Honestly, though, who wants to deal with that? Late nights, on your feet the whole time, rare or nonexistent breaks, dealing with the general populace...I'm more than happy to pay an extra 20% solely for that fact that I would never want to do that. The only pluses may be walking out with cash in hand and some free coke from your manager.

What do you guys think? How much do you tip? Does every server deserve a tip?

Stephanie Pierce has gotten through.

Nikki and Olivia at 'Read Across America'

Pupils read, sing to troops in Iraq through the Internet
By DAN IRWIN
New Castle News

Officially, it was called “Read Across America.”

But Stacy Henry’s first-graders at Thaddeus Stevens Primary Center went one better. They read across the globe.

Gathering in the multi-purpose room of their East Side school, the class read “I Can Read with My Eyes Shut” by Dr. Seuss — Sunday, after all, was the author’s birthday — to a group of servicemen and women stationed at Balad Air Base in Iraq.

Also in the audience, which was able to see and hear the students over an Internet hookup, was Army Spc. Stephanie Pierce, who has been deployed since May to Qayyarah Airfield West in northern Iraq. Pierce’s daughter, 7-year-old Nicolette, is a member of Henry’s class.

The event was Henry’s idea, spawned last Thursday when she decided to combine the National Education Association’s “Read Across America” day with a salute to U.S. troops in general, and to Nicolette’s mom in particular.

“As a military family,” said Henry, whose husband, Todd, is a Army Reserve specialist based out of Kittanning, “I went to the USO and they were able to get us all connected.

“As a mom, if he (Todd) is ever deployed, I would want my children to be able to do something like this.”

Henry tried various avenues to set up the connection before finally sealing the deal with Bob Baumann, president and CEO of the USO of Pennsylvania and Southern New Jersey.

“I have a lot of contacts in Iraq,” Baumann said, “so we were able to put this whole thing together for her. (Pennsylvania has) one of the top four groups of National Guard deployed. They are our citizen soldiers; they didn’t sign up to be soldiers their entire life, nor did their children.

“In regular military service, the kids know what comes with that, and they learn to live with it. With the citizen soldiers, it’s a whole different world. So it’s the responsibility of the USO and Pennsylvanians to provide whatever we can to help the soldiers and their families have some normalcy in their lives.”

On hand for the event, in addition to the entire Thaddeus Stevens student body, were Nicolette’s father, James; her grandmother, Rhonda Deck; and her sisters, Ava, 2, and Olivia, 3. Another military family — Roberto and Maria Santiago — also were present. Roberto, a reservist, and Maria, who served 10 years in the Army, have a son, Roberto, in Henry’s class.

As for James and Stephanie Pierce, they are New Castle natives who lived in Georgia about five years while Stephanie was stationed at Fort Stewart. When she left for Iraq in May for a 15-month deployment, James and his daughters returned to New Castle to be closer to family.

James said he can talk to his wife by phone, but they keep in touch predominantly by Internet, through laptops and Web cams. He works as a self-employed tattoo artist, so he is able to be home with his daughters. His mother, Rhonda Deck, also helps out.

“It’s not as bad for us as it is for some,” he said. “Some of the infantry guys, they go three months without a room. She has a room to sleep in and an office.

“Not that it’s easy for her by any means. It’s horrible for her that she has to be there. She’s missing birthdays and holidays, and things like that. (Ava) will be a monster by the time she sees her again. She wasn’t even walking when she left, now she’s running and jumping all around. That sort of thing gets to you after a while.”

As the students file in, a movie screen shows pictures of the Thaddeus Stevens multi-purpose room in one corner, and soldiers gathered in Balad in the other. The Balad visual is lost just as the program begins, but Baumann gets on his phone and confirms that Iraq is still seeing and hearing the students.

Henry’s class — clad in red, white and blue vests with stars, stripes and “USA” on the front — is already in and seated, directly in front of a Web cam. Others file in to take seats on the floor behind them, but before they do, they enthusiastically belt out “Yankee Doodle Dandy.”

Once they’re in, Baumann asks for – and gets — a deafening “Hello, Balad, Iraq!” shouted in unison.

Henry’s class then reads aloud, and the story time is followed by the entire school singing Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the USA.” When the music ends, applause and whistles from halfway around the world quickly fill the void.

Asked by Principal Debbie DeBlasio how they liked the children’s presentation, one soldier is heard to yell “It was great! I’m from Pennsylvania,” while the rest again break into loud applause.

The kids close with “God Bless America,” then shout “thank you” to their cyber-audience.

With that, Baumann takes the stage to present Nicolette with a camouflage-clad Beanie Baby bear for her and her sisters. He begins to tell about the USO, when suddenly, the speakers erupt again.

The words “Hello, Nicolette!” resound through a room instantly stunned into silence. “I love you!”

Stephanie Pierce has gotten through.

Nicolette and Olivia — Ava has fallen asleep in her grandmother’s arms — are shepherded in front of the Web cam to tell their mother hello and that they love her, too. Though not another word is heard back from Iraq, Baumann is on the phone again, and confirms that Stephanie has heard her daughters, as well as the entire program.

“I didn’t think she’d make it,” said Nicolette, who also is concerned that her Beanie Baby says “For ages 3 and up” and Ava is only 2. “When I heard her, it made me happy.”

As the students file out to return to their classrooms, Baumann learns that Nicolette isn’t the only one to be touched by the day’s events.

“They saw and heard every word of it,” she said of the military audience in Iraq, “and I was told that when those kids were singing, there were a lot of soldiers over there with tears in their eyes.”

This is the end

So after about 40 days of filming, 'Zack and Miri Make a Porno' is finally done. Tonight, Seth Rogen, Kevin Smith, and Craig Robinson were all at the Improv and we went. Seating was first come, first serve and I desperately wanted to be close to the stage. JP, Tim, and Jenn all agreed to accompany me in line an hour before the show started.

If you don't live in Pittsburgh, you don't understand why that was the stupidest idea ever. If you don't live in a place where the wind chill easily gets to around 10, you definitely don't understand how stupid this was.

After an hour, I was almost crying with the pain of my toes. The rest of me was cold, for sure, but my toes were killing me. However, it did pay off. While in line, we spotted Jason Mewes and Elizabeth Banks - and we managed to get seats right against the stage. Kevin Smith was amusing. So was Seth Rogen. The rest of it was sometimes funny, never hysterical. Highlight of the evening was when Seth Rogen took the stage and was looking around as we all clapped. He made eye contact and gave me a grin and head nod in response to what I can only imagine was my foolish smile. Yay!

So, that's it for my ability to meet/hang out with Seth Rogen. I guess I have to shelve my dreams for now.

p.s. I know we call Silent Bob "Silent Bob" for a reason, but man, was I reminded of that when Kevin Smith took the stage. They even have a similar cadence when they speak. As we were leaving, Tim remarked that seeing him just made him want to hang out with our Silent Bob, who is far cooler. I had to agree. Who needs celebrities when you have friends? Now, I just need to find us a "Seth Rogen" to add to the group...

You know that I love cake, part 2.

So after finding this:

this:

and this:

I really want to make my own 'Cooking by the Book' video because mine would be far better than these. Here's the consensus from my friends:

me: so, I really want to do this
make my own cake video
Tim Scott: /disowns friend

me: I want you and JP to be in it

Tim Notari: no

me: like, really want you to

puh-LEASE?
Tim Notari: what on gaia's green tits makes you think I want to be in a home video dancing and singing a song I loathe

I told you I would make it

if we can edit in nazi propaganda films

as long as I can sing it as if it was death metal

Why read fan fiction?

Jessica Bridges sums up my thoughts nicely.

You know that I love cake. (And surreal, whimsical things.)

p.s. If you actually go to YouTube to watch it and click on the video information, the lyrics are there. I now have the song memorized. Lol.

Hurt Unit

This weekend, Kathleen came into town. I decided to take her on a tour of my life.
We went to go see 'The Other Boleyn Girl' because we both adored the book. I haven't seen such a bad movie in a long time. This wasn't bad like "they didn't follow the book" bad. It was bad like "this isn't even entertaining" bad. I'm not going to write a review or anything, but just to bring things into perspective - I inappropriately laughed after the rape scene. Loudly. I also laughed once the credits rolled, out of sheer relief that it was over.

Anyways...after the movie, Zack, Kathleen, her brother Jon, and I all went to PHI to meet up with people. I forgot that Kathleen doesn't drink as much as I do, and I had her do 3 shots with me in quick succession. I was fairly sober, and she didn't seem all that drunk (just extra bubbly and fun), but she ended up being taken home by Zack and Jon much earlier than I would've preferred. Sorry, hun...that was totally my fault.
So we continued our evening. I really need to stop drinking at PHI on the weekends. Our bartender, Binder, doesn't actually close the bar. There is no last call. If there is no last call, I don't know when to stop drinking. I also don't have any idea what time it is. So, at 4:30, we left to go to Ritter's for some breakfast. Zac, JP, Silent Bob, Rob, and I all wandered off to Zac's car.

Along the way, I managed to fall. Normally, when you stumble and fall, you fall forward or just sort of collapse straight down. I fell spectacularly backwards and I have no idea how. Ice, maybe? I also managed to pull JP down with me. When I got up, my elbow hurt. Turns out, I had scraped most of the skin off of it. I had also somehow managed to scratch JP's face - about 4 inches across his cheek.


It wasn't until the next day that I realized I had also severely bruised my thigh (nice bright purple about the size and shape of a cracked egg in a pan) and my poor arse. Do you understand how much impact is required to actually raise a bruise on the meaty part of your ass? Yeah, a lot. I also woke up yesterday (at 2, no less, since we had gone to bed at 6) sore as hell. My back hurts, my legs hurt, my ribs (?), my elbow, ass, and thigh still hurt. When did falling become so painful beyond the immediate impact? Is it possible that it's because I'm old? I feel like someone beat the shit out of me.

Genealogy of Mario

This totally cracked me up. The summary at the end is the best part.

As explained to me by Japanese 6-year-olds.

Edmund Dennis

So, my cousin's wife had a baby this week. Apparently, it was a tough birth and the poor little guy has been in the NICU because he was having seizures. He doesn't have an infection and his CAT scan was fine, so they're taking him off medication to see what happens. Think happy thoughts about him and Rachael for me? Prayers, call in some karma points, whatever it is you do. She's (unsurprisingly) physically and mentally exhausted as well.

p.s. He wasn't even cleaned up yet when this picture was taken. Just think - minutes old and already on the internet!

Amsterdam

It has been about 5 1/2 years since I've been to Amsterdam. I spent 4 crazy days there at the end of October 2002. Recently, my mother forced me to go through some old things at her house and I found a notebook in which I had pasted in parts of the tourist guide that we found amusing. So Laura (and Evita, wherever you are), this is for you.

Prostitution
If you visit one of the women, we would like to remind you, they are not always women. Don't take pictures of the women, it might get you in trouble. Outside on the streets, don't shout or use bad language towards these women. Show some respect. In case you have any problem with a girl or a pimp, don't hesitate to ask a policeman/woman, we know why you're here and you can hardly surprise us anymore.

Strippenkaart (ticket for public transport)
Make sure that your ticket is valid.
Your ticket is only valid after it has been stamped. This can be done by the driver or the conductor. In trams without a conductor, you should stamp your ticket yourself in one of the yellow stamp machines. Fold the 'strippenkaart' at the correct number or strips and insert it into the machine. You must calculate the number of zones you will be travelling in/through yourself. When having the 'strippenkaart' stamped, only the last strip of the number of strips required must be stamped. The strip or strips before should remain unstamped. It's compulsory to be in possession of a valid ticket throughout the journey.

Needless to say, we were not in any state to be calculating zones and stamping our tickets ourselves, so we took taxis or walked the whole time.

I'm f*cking Seth Rogen!

No, not really.
Warning: The first two are SFW, all the fucks are bleeped out. The last one is not, and it's a lot raunchier.

Have you guys seen Sara Silverman's video 'I'm f*cking Matt Damon'?

What about the Jimmy Kimmel response, 'I'm f*cking Ben Affleck'?

Well, here is 'I'm fucking Seth Rogen', sung by a delightfully adorable Elizabeth Banks. Plus, it's from Pittsburgh! Watch for the outside scene, that's our snow all right.

Lustful? Who would've thunk it?

The sweet light no longer strikes against your eyes. Your shade has been banished to...the Second Level of Hell!

Second Level of Hell

You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.

Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test


Apparently, I am also wrathful, gloomy, violent, and a heretic.
w00t!!

The Academy Awards

Last night, JP and I went to some friends' place to watch the Oscars. They have a party every year, complete with a pool. I have never bet money on anything before, so I thought it was pretty exciting. We didn't win, but I was pleased that I did manage to pick half correctly. I picked correctly for:

• Art Direction - Sweeney Todd
• Costume Design - Elizabeth: The Golden Age
• Short Film, Animated - Peter and the Wolf
• Foreign Language - The Counterfeiters
  
• Original Screenplay - Juno
• Adapted Screenplay - No Country for Old Men
• Cinematography - There Will Be Blood
• Supporting Actor - Javier Bardem
• Leading Actor - Daniel Day-Lewis
• Director - Coen brothers for No Country for Old Men
• Best Picture - No Country for Old Men
  

JP and I had one source of contention when choosing, for Visual Effects. I thought we should go with The Golden Compass, but he said Transformers. Golden Compass won.
The only one I was actually surprised that we lost at was Animated Feature. We both thought Persepolis was a shoo-in. Ratatouille took it.

The highlight of the show was when Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill came out to present Sound Editing and Sound Mixing. They looked exactly alike, and pretty adorable. I cheered very loudly and the entire room stopped to look at me.
I can see how this gambling thing is addicting! What else can we bet on while waiting for next year's Oscars?

Control

So after my last flurry of questioning personal happiness and people's reaction to that, I spent most of last night trying to do serious research on BDSM and Dom/sub relationships. "Serious" research on anything that can be a sexual kink is always kind of a crapshoot, but with the right Google search, I think I got the basics. You would laugh if you saw the progression and what I had to look at to find quality information and not personal ads that just said "Dominate me!".

This entry may have some information/opinions expressed that you may not want to read about or associate with me. I have no plans of going into detail about my sex life on my blog (duh!), but if you are a feminist, I have a feeling you may disagree with a lot of this (I do consider myself to be a feminist to an extent, btw). Also, obviously, if you're squicked by this subject matter, just stop reading. I don't want to have to defend to comments about how BDSM is gross and wrong. Constructive opinions only!

The first thing to take note of is the difference between an actual Dom/sub relationship and role-playing for the purpose of sex. The former is something that will penetrate other aspects of your life. A D/s relationship can have a Dom of either sex. Traditionally, women played the submissive role, but especially in the realm of porn, we've all seen/heard of "Mistress of Pain" as well. A D/s relationship is not just about the Dom telling the sub what to do or controlling them. Very simply put, the sub wants their life to be about pleasing their Dom and trusting their Dom to always have their best interests at heart. If it is to be healthy for both people involved, it takes an immense amount of trust and faith on both parts. Trust and faith in your partner is something that we all yearn to have even in a "vanilla" (non-D/s) relationship. This takes it to a new level.
There are a number of levels of control in a D/s relationship. D/s relationships can also be called Master/slave, which tends to indicate a greater level of control in the everyday life and an expression of ownership. In everything I read, it is suggested that you spell out what you want. When it is appropriate for a Dom to have control (just at home? in public or semi-public venues?) and how much control do they have? If you find a guy whose idea of a D/s relationship is that you do the dishes all the time because he doesn't want to, this doesn't necessarily constitute a D/s relationship. He may just be a lazy asshole. However, as someone's sub, if you know that it makes your Dom happy to do so, you will do it without being asked because that is how your relationship works. (Sound familiar?)
The parallels between any normal "vanilla" relationship and a D/s relationship are astounding. Everything I read seemed to ring at least a little true for all the normal relationships I know of. It's just more explicitly spelled out, with a more formal set of rules in regards to behavior.

The idea of "collaring" is fairly controversial, as the collar generally represents a level of ownership, something we reject in American (and most Western) society. The collar is something worn to indicate that you belong to someone else. It's merely a round object placed around the neck. It can be something that you change (wearing a different choker every day) or the same collar day after day. It can be as simple as a ribbon, or as classic as a leather collar. People in a D/s or Master/slave relationship that have been collared see it as a symbol of their commitment to each other. Many of them are married or in a committed partnership.

Take a quick look at your left hand and think about what is/could be there.

To bring this back to my previous wonderings, from everything I've read, it seems that Dani Graves and Tasha Maltby have a classic D/s relationship. Here's where things get complicated. Can a D/s relationship ever be healthy? Just by definition, it seems to indicate a codependency that many would cringe at, especially women (in regards to male Doms/female subs). Have we really worked so hard to be able to vote and have equal rights only to have a few crazies throw it back in our faces? In short, I'd have to say no.
Now, I'm not trying to presume anything about their relationship in general, but she is only 19. Since I was 19 once (as far distant memory recalls...), I know that she's not 100% sure of what she wants or needs for the rest of her life. I sure wasn't. If they stay together and grow together and realize that they're still compatible, bully for them. Awesome. "What the world needs now, is love, sweet love" and all that jazz. Maybe we can all stop being so sure that we know this isn't it and just accept that any 19 year old in a serious relationship is probably going to be caught up in some level of codependency because, let's face it, that's what happens most of the time. So even in the confines of a D/s relationship, just like in the confines of a vanilla relationship, she may find that is good and healthy. Or she may not and move on.
OF COURSE there are instances in which this is unhealthy. I can think of plenty of unhealthy relationships that I see on a regular basis. The problem is that we assume people are happy and safe and loved if they are together as default. With a D/s relationship, we assume the opposite. There must be something wrong with one or both of them.

Much of the problem with this is the idea of willingly allowing someone to tell us what to do. As children, we are forced to accept this and generally rebel in some form or another when we become teenagers. This is what allows us to grow as people and become well-adjusted adults. So why would you revert to this again and give up a level of independence? I want to try and explain what I think by using me as an example. I do not want this to indicate that I somehow want my relationship to change. I consider myself to be quite independent and I have a stubborn streak a mile wide. Handing over control is not something that I would willingly consent to as the norm.
Have you ever been to a restaurant with me? I sit and contemplate and argue with myself over what I want to eat. What if I pick the wrong thing? What if this isn't as good as that? Did I make the wrong choice? Do I really want fries with that? I find it to be frustrating at times. What if JP ordered for me? Would I feel better knowing that he would never order salmon for me, knowing I hate it, but that I didn't have to decide or doubt myself? I know you're thinking "It's just dinner! Get over it already!", but do you see how this could be helpful to someone who has anxiety issues? Is that a valid treatment to anxiety or should we trust a psychiatrist and therapist to tell us taking this pill or doing this thing is what will make us happier. What if handing over that decision makes us happiest?

I realize this is all quite simplified in my explanation, but I really wanted to just get the thought out there that maybe what we assume to be something unhealthy and wrong is actually helpful for some people. Not every D/s relationship will work, just like not every vanilla relationship will work. And having the choice to pick this kind of relationship and maybe be happy living like this is what feminists have worked for. Equality doesn't have to be about control. It can simply be about choosing not to have it.

When is enough, enough?

So, in response to the last entry I wrote about Dani Graves and Tasha Maltby, I have been thinking a lot about personal happiness. She says this is what makes her happy and they're not hurting anyone, and I totally agree with that. But yet, all the time, we judge people for this sort of thing - interests, hobbies, sexual practices, drug and alcohol use, religion. Why? Is it because we somehow do believe that someone is being harmed?
Of course, if your friend is addicted to heroin and says it makes them happy, you disapprove (right?), because we have scientific facts that say this hurts the person. Smoking some pot won't necessarily get you the same reaction because maybe we feel the harm is negligible or as yet unproven. And if you decide that you like Harry Potter enough to buy a tshirt that says "I <3 Severus Snape", people will generally grin and bear it, because there is no evidence that wearing a tshirt will harm you.
So when does it stop become just judgment and start becoming something that you feel should put a stop to? I'll be the first to admit that I do judge people and feel the latter based on some of these things. Religion, for one. Am I only protesting the fact that many religions do harm people by promoting agendas that I find to be reprehensible (e.g., homophobia)? Am I ok with a person with a huge amount of faith that really does treat others the way they would want to be treated? I'd like to say no, but I think I would still wonder if I thought they were being harmed by blindly following an organization. So is it our own personal definition of harm that is guiding this?
Let's say I decide that I do want JP to walk me around on a leash. I'm guessing that my parents and friends would have something to say about it. Why? What if I liked it? Are you afraid that I'm being manipulated? Compromising my beliefs as a woman by being submissive to a man? Are you afraid that my life will be more difficult because of public backlash? If so, I guess you do believe I'm being harmed, and therefore, want to help.
I wonder how much of it is our own comfort, though. Does it make you uncomfortable to see me on a leash? Isn't that your problem, and not mine? Isn't it unfair to say that I should be less happy for you to be more happy? That's the definition of selfish, no?
Is that why sex is so taboo? That we don't often talk about what we do in the bedroom (or not bedroom) because people are so quick to judge? Why is it so shocking that someone enjoys a certain activity? No one's saying you need to. Is consensual BDSM harmful? If you say yes, are you just wondering if the person really wants to be chained to a wall and beaten with a paddle, or are you uncomfortable with the idea of it happening to you? Maybe I want someone to punch me in the face when I'm aroused. If it feels good, is it harmful simply because it produces a bruise? Does it simply boil down to what you believe is more important - our physical health or our mental health?
I don't mean for these questions to be rhetorical. I really am curious, and I definitely don't have all the answers. I've been on both sides of the spectrum. I'm also not referring to strangers who judge, because I know there are assholes out there. I'm talking about our loved ones. When do you think enough is enough? Can we be too "happy" for our own good?

Dani Graves and Tasha Maltby

Have you guys heard about this?


I just think they are so freakin' adorable. That Victorian coat he's wearing? Mmmm...it's like a young, hot Snape.
And while I don't necessarily want to be led around by JP while wearing a dog collar, I'm not sure I'd mind him doing all the cooking and cleaning.
Whatever floats your boat, man.

UPDATE: Here's an interview where they sound less crazy than in the article.

Do I want Seth Rogen to see me naked?

I just received an email from the local casting company responsible for 'Zack and Miri Make a Porno' asking if I would be interested in being a nude extra in the film. It's one day (this Thursday) and pays $250.
The funny thing is, I kind of considered it for a moment.

Pros:

• Seth Rogen will most likely see me naked.
• I get to say I was naked in a movie.
• We could all go see the movie in the theatre and cheer when naked me came on.

Cons:

• Seth Rogen will most likely see me naked.
• I have to be naked in a movie. And naked for most of a day (12-14 hours, they said).
• I'm not sure all my boys want to go a movie and see me naked. Or my brother. Or my parents. (Though I'm guessing they weren't going to see 'Zack and Miri' anyways.)
• It will be cold to be naked.
• I don't know how to style my, ahem, hair. Do you think they give you instructions?

This whole thing is just way too weird for me. Topless, I'd do in a heartbeat. This is just too much, I think. Even the draw of Seth Rogen and Kevin Smith isn't enough for me to do it.
Am I being a coward? Would any of you do this? I honestly want to know.

A little advice

While impaired in any way, be it drunk, stoned, hopped up on cold medicine or Ambien, or lacking sleep, it is not a good idea to attempt to entirely empty your really gross, really heavy litterbox. What will happen is that you will spill that awful clumpy-wet litter all over the carpet, along with a decent pile of the dry stuff. And your husband will spend several moments simply staring at you as you struggle and yell "Goddammit" over and over. And when you ask why this has never happened before, he will point out that you are impaired. Hopefully, you'll laugh after that and he'll go get you the vacuum cleaner.

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."
-Erica Jong

"We've been thinking for a long time that earnest people reacting to a candidate is the future of music video."

I have spent the past 2 hours crying with laughter and watching these over and over again. Seriously, wiping away tears.

Iraq withdrawal date: 12,008 (response to Yes We Can)

Ridin' on a dinosaur, you and me.

Stargirl

Over the past few years, I have spent much of my reading time exploring the world of young adult fiction. While it has been around for awhile (many claim The Catcher and the Rye to be the original young adult novel), it has really taken off in recent years. When I was a young adult, I had the choice of Christopher Pike, Sweet Valley High, and an occasionally Lois Lowry book. I did love these, but they have not followed me well into adulthood. Things have improved immensely since these books were aimed at me, and I'm almost constantly astounded at these authors who take themes relevant to people of all ages and present them to impressionable youth. Of course, it doesn't hurt to have a mother-in-law that's a teacher, a friend that's a youth librarian, and a friend going to school to be a high school English teacher to help me choose. I have recommendations out the wazoo for what I should check out next. The list is endless.

But my favorite of all is Jerry Spinelli's Stargirl. At its core, Stargirl is about discovering yourself and trying (or not trying) to fit in. While most in the forefront of your brain as a teenager, it really is a story that even adults can relate to. Who are we, deep down? Is changing yourself for other people ever a good idea? Would we be happier as part of the norm? It's an honest look at this and isn't presented in such black and white as to feel preachy. There is a sequel, Love, Stargirl as well. While not quite as good as the first (as sequels rarely are), it does give you the little extra bit of story that you wanted at the end of Stargirl. I got the boxed set of both for my birthday this year, and it came with a set of magnets. I immediately put the magnets on my refrigerator, scattered about. Every time I go to the fridge, I take a moment to find and read the little messages. It sounds cheesy and like some silly self-improvement mantra that you chant to yourself, but I can't help it. They make me feel better. They make me feel like it's ok to be confused, stressed, and unsure of things. We all are. And isn't that important? To feel like we all have someone who can commiserate with us? Even if it is just a fictional character, it rings true. So I leave you with my magnet mantras.

Inhabit your moments.

I am not a typical girl.

I feel the need to be alone.

Will we ever meet again?

Okay, so you're not perfect. Who is?

None of us gets it right all the time.

Do I have talented friends or what?

I find this to be completely inspiring and lovely.

Hell is the Closet I'm Stuck inside.

Ineptitude vs. falsehoods

There's nothing I like better than a rant about Comcast. It's been awhile since I was displeased with them, so I really thought they had straightened themselves out. The eternal optimist is disappointed yet again.

In November or December, I called Comcast to talk about my service with them. We had cable and internet. They just introduced digital voice here, and had a great deal going on. So I asked about it. I also wanted to cancel my Showtime, since I don't need it until Tudors starts their second season (ooooo, I can't wait!). After at least a half an hour on the phone with this girl, we had it all straightened out. Showtime would be canceled, we'd get a phone line, HBO, and our bill would only go up by like $3 a month. Pretty sweet deal, I thought. So I went for it. A few days later, I go to watch our DVRed Project Runway episode. It's blank. That's weird. Just a fluke, I imagine. Fine. It records it a second time then next day. Still blank. Weird! JP and Tim are there and one of them suggests that I check and make sure that we are still getting Bravo. Nope! In fact, we've lost every channel over 100. Argh. So I get our January bill, the first with all these changes. It's $30 more than what we were paying before, which includes the $30 installation fee for the phone. Wait a minute. So our bill is the same and we've LOST channels? I'm pissed. I rant. I don't bother calling until almost a month later (today). I was reminded of this because I paid my Comcast bill, which was $10 more than what I was paying before. Argh!
Today I talk to someone about this and I get this explanation: the original girl didn't lie to me about this. She just never canceled the Showtime, which I have been charged $17.95 for. She also never added the "Digital Plus" to my service, which is $12.95. It took a good 20 minutes to figure this out, and I have to admit I was not nice or pleased with the people I talked to, since I thought the girl had just straight up lied to me.

Now I don't know what to think. Is it more forgivable that she was just completely a moron and never did anything that I called and asked her to do? Would it have been better to think that she was trying to wring more money out of me and my already-ridiculously-high cable bill?

Pathetic

So after my whole Seth Rogen adventure, I posted to an IMDB message board for 'Zack and Miri Make a Porno' that I had talked to him. I did this because the message board was full of people posting things like this. This is maybe the second message board I have ever posted to in my entire illustrious internet career. So here's what I said:
"I ended up driving past the Mt. Washington school where they're filming and saw Seth Rogen walking down the street. I rolled down the window to tell him I was a big fan and he very sincerely thanked me. Yay! Anyone know how long they were planning to film there or possible future locations?"
Ok, I admit - that's a little silly fangirlness. But is this reply necessary?:
"I have an idea, leave the dude alone and let them make the damn movie."

Ouch. Now I'm pissed.
1) I am not the rabid fangirl that this dude implies with this comment.
2) I completely resent the implication that somehow I have interfered/will interfere in his life/work enough that I deserve to be bitched out about it.
3) Why do I care what a random jackass on the IMDB message boards said?

Tim very happily ranted about how he's just a jealous fanboy. That makes me feel a bit better. But I'm still not sure. Are both of us pathetic? Just me? Just him?

I think I'm done with message boards. Who knew I would find a whole aspect of the internet that I hated?

Side effects

Remember when I raved about Ambien here? Yeah, I should've realized it was too good to be true.

After a few days of taking it, I started getting these strange headaches. It feels a little like someone is poking me through the temple with an ice pick. It gets worse when I turn my head. Nothing takes it away, but it's usually short lived. So I looked up side effects of Ambien, and headaches are, in fact, one.

This entire past week, I thought I was going crazy. I have woken up every morning feeling like the day before happened 3 weeks before. I could barely remember what had happened, no matter how significant. Back to my list of side effects. No lie, AMNESIA (sometimes significant) is a side effect. What kind of medicine causes amnesia?

The craziness has gotten worse in the past 4 days. I have been daydreaming almost constantly. I normally daydream a lot, but this is a bit much for even me. And daydreaming so intensely that when I snap out of it, I am immensely disappointed because I'm back to reality. What is happening to me? Based on the list of side effects - delusions. As in not knowing what is real and what isn't? At least for moments of the time? Yikes!

The worse part is, these side effects all happen during the day! I could see if I couldn't remember those weird 20 minutes after I take the pill, but give me a break! I'm kinda freaked out over here.

And I don't know if I can attribute this to the Ambien, but I have started liking a very strange song, 'Apologize' by Timbaland, and One Republic. Here's the youtube (I managed to find a Harry Potter fanvideo that's set to it, lol). That's a bad song, right?

A fangirl's dream come true.

I'd like to start this by saying, yes, I know how ridiculous this is all going to sound. I'm silly and giddy and maybe a little bit pathetic.

So, Kevin Smith is filming a movie, "Zack and Miri Make a Porno", here in Pittsburgh. Seth Rogen is one of the leads. Since I found out about this, I've been trying to find information about filming locations so that I can go see if I can maybe meet Seth Rogen.

Absolutely ridiculous, right? I swear, I have never really been starstruck like this before.

So I find out yesterday that they are shooting on Mt. Washington somewhere. Those were all the details I had. Armed with this knowledge (and JP and Tim), we set off around 2 to try and find them. We drove across the Liberty Bridge and saw a sign that said "ZAM" with an arrow. I follow the arrow. We drive aimlessly throughout Mt. Washington for about 15 minutes, randomly turning and turning around until JP spies another sign. Follow that arrow. One more sign and we find it - a closed elementary school with a parking lot full of trailers, a catering truck, and no parking signs everywhere. We find a place to park behind the school and walk a full circuit around. All we saw was some people smoking by the back door. After we were the whole way around, JP and Tim insisted they were going back to the car. I wanted to hang out by the back door, but after about a minute of that I felt incredibly lame and uncomfortable. So I get in the car, disappointed, but insist that we drive past the back door one last time. We're driving down the street and Tim goes, "That's him!"

And it was. He was walking up the sidewalk, towards the car. So I stop the car, roll down my window, and yell "HEY!" as loudly as possible. He stops, looks at me, and I move my sunglasses to the top of my head, take a deep breath, and blurt out "I just wanted to say I'm a big fan, I have been since Freaks and Geeks, and I really love your work." He very sincerely says, "Thanks, thank you. I appreciate that." To which I reply, "Enjoy your time here!" and roll up the window and drive off.

Ok, so it wasn't my dream encounter with him. However, since I never sincerely believed that I would talk to him, it's a pretty good substitute. I am a little bummed that I didn't get a picture, but what was I going to do? Jump out of my car? I'm guessing that would've freaked him out and even if it wouldn't have, I'm still kinda glad that I wasn't that crazy fangirl that did that.

The thing that makes me hyperventilate about the whole thing is that it was just so freakin' meant to be. The walk from that back door up the sidewalk to the trailers takes probably about 30 seconds. I managed to find him in those 30 seconds! The Gods have smiled upon me and allowed me to experience something that I'm guessing will NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN, no matter how hard I try.

JP and Tim were less impressed, but still good sports about the whole thing. And they even allowed me to park the car and take a picture with one of the ZAM signs since I didn't get a picture with Seth Rogen. Those are some good guys.


(photograph by Tim Notari)

Oh, and just so you know - he's as adorable in person and his voice is exactly the same as it was in "Knocked Up" (except maybe a little deeper and sexier). He was wearing his glasses and his hair was not a super fro, but still all curly-like.

I am SUCH a dork.

So, we're making a movie

Tim: you know I could write a screenplay about this, and then you could get to meet seth rogen
call the movie "Meeting Seth Rogen"
me: that'd be awesome
Tim: these absurdists pseudo-reality movies are all the rage lately
me: i'll help
write the screenplay, edit, whatever
Tim: by doing what exactly? being crazy?
me: Lisa actually makes documentaries
she would help
I'll also "act" in it
Tim: yes no I would take it the weinsteins and have them give me money for it
I wouldn't produce the film myself
me: oh, I see
well, if they say no, I've got $500 on it
and I'll convince lisa to edit it for free
Erik can do the sound
JP can look pretty
Tim: Erik has a boom mic?
me: I meant the sound editing
Tim: well see, the movie kinda requires Seth Rogen to be in it
me: right
Tim: so at some point
me: so we'll contact his people
Tim: do you know how to do that?
me: and we'll film us smoking together in my apartment!
sure
I bet we can find emails or something
Tim: yeah I can see you're not taking this project seriously
I'm going to have to back out
me: what?????
I am SO taking it seriously
you don't think we could SOMEHOW contact Seth Rogen's agent?
Tim: I don't think with a crew like me JP, Lisa, and Erik we are going to impress Seth Rogen's agent
me: I'm sure if we had a conference call they would gain confidence in us
Tim: yes especially when the only scene you have written is "us filming seth rogen smoke in my apartment"
that's the whole treatment basically
me: and why don't I get to be part of the crew?
Tim: that's your only pitch
me: hahahaha
Tim: go onto imdb and leave a message on the message boards
"need to contact Seth"

and here's what Kathleen had to say:

Kathleen: i'm trying to think of a more interesting pitch
got it!
we tell them you are a cancer (or some other life threatening thing) patient
and your last wish in life is to smoke with seth rogen
me: oh yeah, that'd be great
I'm sure no one would ever figure out that I'm not dying
and then we can make one called
Why Seth Rogen Hates Freya

No, really, a new beginning.

Ahhhhh. So this is how it feels to wake up normally? You feel like you have actually slept? You have energy that's not just a 15 minute spurt once a day? Seriously? I think I might want to do something today. Cleaning, cooking, hanging out not in my living room...the possibilities are endless. I was showered, dressed, and working by 9:30 today. Happily. Wow. No, really, this is wonderful.

Man, I am Ambien's new number one fan. Well, that or sleeping's.

The only bummer is that I'm supposed to keep a strict sleeping schedule for the next two weeks while I'm taking it. So hanging out past midnight is sort of out of the question. But if I have to not hang out late for the next two weekends, I can deal if this is my reward. Tomorrow, I will wake up before 11. What do you do that early on a Saturday? I guess I'll find out.

Oh, and the moments before you fall asleep on Ambien? Very amusing. Very drug-induced, in that fun sort of way. JP said I had quite the shit-eating grin. Hopefully it wasn't reminiscent of Britney's...

A new beginning

After months of not sleeping well and JP and Tim hounding me, I finally made a doctor's appointment to talk about my insomnia. At this point, I feel like everything that is not quite right in my life is due to this, and I want a change. The only thing I didn't want was a prescription for sleeping pills.

So I go to see the doctor. I have doctor issues to begin with, so I was nervous. The doctor that I used to see is now gone from the practice, so it was my first time meeting him.

I think I love him.

I explained everything and we talked for a good long while. He must've asked me a dozen times if I was ok other than the insomnia. Really thorough. He easily explained why I had lost all that weight recently and reassured me that it was fine. He also took blood to check my thyroid levels. He even understood that I didn't want to be taking sleeping pills, but then explained to me why it was probably my best option at this point. By taking Ambien for only the next two weeks, I will essentially retrain my body to sleep normally and then hopefully be able to sleep just fine without it. It's non-addictive and all the crazy side effects you hear about only tend to happen to people who use it for more than a month, so I shouldn't be driving in my sleep any time soon. I expressed concern at the fact that I react to medications quite strongly since I'm so small, and he prescribed me the lowest dose possible at my request (5mg). I left his office feeling incredibly hopeful. Is it really possible to fix me with just a little pill for two weeks?

Then I went to Giant Eagle. I dropped off the prescription for the Ambien and something else that I needed. I was told 20 minutes. So I took the opportunity to pick out some new toothpaste (I'm such a sucker for oral care products!) and came back about a half an hour later (I take my toothpaste selection very seriously). I was told that: 1) there was something "wrong" with the Ambien prescription and that they had to wait for the doctor to call back to verify it and 2) my COBRA coverage hasn't gone through yet, so I have to pay for these completely on my own and then get reimbursed, as long as it is within the next 10 days. So I left Giant Eagle in tears of bitter disappointment that my new start to life can't begin tomorrow. It'll have to wait until Friday, I guess.

The Privileged Few

Today I went into the office because I had to turn in my time card in order to be paid. I was disappointed to see that my boss, friend, and smoking partner wasn't in. So I decided to just stay a half day and then go back another day this week for a half day so that I could see her. JP had already taken the car from the bus stop, but I didn't mind because today is absolutely gorgeous. Like, 60 and cloudy with occasional bursts of sun. Lovely.

So the bus stop we use is in Edgewood, the same neighborhood we live in. Edgewood is approximately .9 square miles and has a population of about 3,300 people. I'm guessing that 3,290 of them have money. It's a nice neighborhood. We have one of the best elementary schools in the state less than a block away from us, and we also host the Western Pennsylvania School for the Deaf.

Anyways. So I'm walking the 15 minutes or so home and just bopping along to my iPod. I go to cross the main drag, Edgewood Avenue, at a stop sign. This is directly across from the School for the Deaf. This slightly-older-than-middle-aged man jumps out into the street wearing his bright yellow vest and "stops" the nonexistent traffic for me. Then I need to cross a somewhat large driveway immediately after this. He once again throws himself in harm's way to let me cross. I smile and thank him. Not one block farther down, I come to the "big" intersection in Edgewood. It is equipped with a pedestrian cycle no matter what time of day (which is infuriating when driving around midnight or so). Another crossing guard. He literally stops the traffic from going through the green light so that I can cross the street. Seriously? I'm not a kindergartener! I can wait! It's cool! But, alas, here in Edgewood, my 1% local tax is allowing me to cross when I see fit. No need to worry about the lights. It's all about me.

Celebrity Crushes

Lately, I have found myself more-than-normally obsessed with certain celebrities. Some of them are fairly unconventional, which has led me to question why I find them attractive. Sure, Johnny Depp is hot, even if he is 40+. That's understandable. Gary Oldman? Ok, that's a little weird. Is it just because he's intrinsically linked with Dracula and Sirius Black in my mind (two very attractive fictional characters)? Maybe that makes it less weird. Add that to my Rufus Wainwright thing, thanks to this picture of Tim's (I know he's gay! Still slightly delicious, though.). But most recently, I've been really fascinated with Alan Rickman and Seth Rogen. Let's talk about Alan Rickman first.

He's OLD! 11 years older than my parents. That means he is in his sixties. SIXTIES. As in a sexagenarian. And kind of clean-cut. I don't think I find him attractive in real-life photos, but he always seems to play these sexy villains - Sheriff of Nottingham, Severus Snape, Hans Gruber. And his amazing dry wit (which may or may not exist in real life) delivered in that voice...totally, completely compelling.

So, Seth Rogen. Since I've watched all of the Judd Apatow movies I got for Christmas, I have seen a lot of him lately. I've decided I have a serious crush. Like, not in a "hey, you're cute" way, but in a "no, seriously, I think I could love you" way. Now, I'm not trying to say that I want to leave JP and go to L.A. and try to break up his relationship with what's-her-name and attempt to start something meaningful. I just feel like we would really get along, if the circumstances presented themselves. I feel like he acts a lot like me and my people (including JP). He's that nerdy-but-cool guy that no one seems to appreciate as much as I do.

Ok, in case you missed it in the crazy above...I DON'T KNOW SETH ROGEN. Haven't met a single one of the others, either. I've decided that I am attracted to not only their physical stature, but their person, based on them making a living pretending to be someone that they're not. Is that the definition of delusional or what?

Judd Apatow

A lot happened over this crazy 11 days off that I had, and I may eventually blog about it. But at the moment, I want to talk about Judd Apatow.
For those that don't know him, Judd Apatow is a writer/director/producer. Most people know him from Knocked Up, The 40-year Old Virgin, and Superbad. I've been a fan since he did Freaks and Geeks, the critically acclaimed but canceled show about high school in 1981. Lindsay, the main character, is like my high school doppelganger. It's like reliving being 17.
Now, while I watch a lot of TV and a decent amount of movies that I thoroughly enjoy, I don't find that I necessarily relate to most of it beyond the whole, "I'm a member of the human race and I've felt sad before." I do get obsessed with characters that aren't necessarily like me, but they don't always pull at my heartstrings.
Not with Judd Apatow, though. Everything he does totally and completely relates to my own life. Is he really the only one to have believable nerdy-yet-cool guys? I think he might be. Since my entire life is filled with men that are like this, and I proclaim myself to be a girl like this, it's amazingly comforting to watch. Seeing someone on screen do or say something that is completely, 100% what you or someone you know would say or do gives me that sickeningly sentimental Gods-I-want-to-cry-now feeling.

So, here's the question. These are all popular movies that the general populace has embraced. Are we all a bunch of dorks deep down, or are most of these people laughing at me and not with me?

Below are the lyrics to the Loudon Wainwright III's song, Daughter, that plays at the end of Knocked Up. I can't get it out of my head, so I thought I'd subject you to it as well. You can watch him singing it live right here.

Everything she sees
she says she wants.
Everything she wants
I see she gets.

That's my daughter in the water
everything she owns I bought her
Everything she owns.
That's my daughter in the water,
everything she knows I taught her.
Everything she knows.

Everything I say
she takes to heart.
Everything she takes
she takes apart.

That's my daughter in the water
every time she fell I caught her.
Every time she fell.
That's my daughter in the water,
I lost every time I fought her.
I lost every time.

Every time she blinks
she strikes somebody blind.
Everything she thinks
blows her tiny mind.
That's my daughter in the water,
who'd have ever thought her?
Who'd have ever thought?
That's my daughter in the water,
I lost every time I fought her
Yeah, I lost every time.