I just can't win!

being socially conscious is something that I pride myself on. in fact, my number one road rage comment is "you socially unconscious jackass!" to an SUV that doesn't appear to be used for off-roading (which is all but the one really, really muddy one I saw once. but that might have been just a yuppie ploy to get me to like them.). now, I don't know if "socially unconscious" is really the opposite of socially conscious, but I say it is.
anyways...
I do try to do as much as I can to be a socially responsible citizen. I will only buy manual transmission small cars (they get better gas mileage). I use travel mugs for my coffee instead of buying it somewhere every day. and if I do buy coffee, I'll keep the cup for at least that day, in case I want more. and then I'll use it again. I don't litter. once I finish using the tail end of a couple more cleaning products, my house will be a chemical-free cleaning zone. I buy in bulk and store in my own containers to prevent waste. I get angry when I see things "individually wrapped".
HOWEVER...
there is so much more that I could be doing. I still use paper towels and napkins. my toilet paper isn't the recycled kind. I love Ziploc bags with a passion that is embarrassing. I drive to work a lot of the time, even though I could take the bus. I leave a light on in the living room at all times for the cats. etc., etc., etc.

my point is that no matter what I do, it's either just not good enough or I have to pick between principles. packing lunches: do I buy individually wrapped things or do I buy a big bag and put them in my own individual bags? grocery shopping: do I go to Whole Foods and support the local products that they sell or go to Giant Eagle and support unionization (which the founder of Whole Foods is totally against)? produce: is it better to buy organic that was shipped from California or pesticide treated things from the Carolinas? dishwashing: do I use less water using the dishwasher (only when it's totally full!) or washing dishes by hand? books: is it better that I be ignorant or encourage the destruction of forests to make books? (ok, maybe that was a bit of a stretch. but you know what I mean!)

I feel like I just can't win! someone tell me the correct side of things. and please don't suggest that I become like this guy.

Mayan chocolate

I am an AVID ice cream fan. I totally blame my father for this, as he eats ice cream virtually every day and has since I can remember. since I do try to eat healthy, I buy ice cream only when I really, really want it, and I try to just buy a pint or two. one of my favorite things to do is buy 2 pints of different flavors and then watch tv (lately, Alias) with JP and eat out of the cartons, switching flavors between us. seriously, if I were ever to want a divorce, I think a tv/ice cream night would fix it all. but anyways...
usually, I am the craver of the ice cream. if we get it, it's because I want it. JP doesn't crave sweets the way I do, so he has much more self control when it comes to things like this. however, JP doesn't like light ice cream. I find it to be a perfectly acceptable alternative, and it lowers the guilt factor so much, but he claims it's too fluffy and makes him burp (which I think is possibly the weirdest reaction to non-carbonated food possible. but whatever). so Edy's Slow Churned Chocolate Chocolate Chunk is out of the question, even though it's one of my absolute faves.
so yesterday, we're strolling through Giant Eagle. and we walk past the ice cream. JP stops. I was shocked. would he really be the one to suggest ice cream?? and he was. so we look, and Haagen-Dazs pints are on sale. yay! we pick their "extra creamy light" mint chocolate chip and Mayan chocolate. I like Haagen-Dazs's mint chocolate chip because it's not green (they only use all natural products in their ice creams), and who doesn't like dark chocolate + cinnamon? JP is willing to try the different brand of light ice cream.
so we eat the ice cream.

even though it has been decided that I am the "most religious" out of Will, Shannon, JP, and I, I am not a God-fearing person. I have had a couple of touching spiritual moments in my life. one involved a Zeppelin laser show (and something to go along with it). this was another.

Mayan chocolate is almost indescribably good. it's a rich, chocolate-y ice cream that's not terribly sweet, swirled with ribbons of spicy cinnamon. I'm going to sound like a pretentious gourmand here, but the flavors are so perfectly matched and balanced. it's an experience that must be shared with others.

please, do yourself a favor and go get a pint. then tell me what you think about it in the comments.
oh, and JP liked the Haagen-Dazs light. I don't know if the price guilt makes up for the light-ness, but we'll see.

a closet Blink 182 fan

last night, I was doing dishes and listening to my iPod. in my library are 4 Blink 182 cds.
yes, I am a Blink 182 fan.
upon careful listening, I realized that while I still sing and bop around to Blink, it no longer rings as true as it did when I was 15, 16, 17, 18. in fact, it hasn't been insightful to me since I met JP. and then I realized something:
emo is crack for 16 year olds!
it preys on your miserableness. no wonder emo kids are so freakin annoying! I used to lap that shit up. any song about pain or love turned sour used to be about me and my current failing relationship or my past failed relationships. now that I have a happy, healthy (unless you count all the ice cream eating we do) relationship, songs about these things are no longer something I want to listen to. they have no relevance in my life.

I'm still going to dance around the kitchen to Blink, though. but I won't really listen to what they have to say.

Microsoft Excel and pretentiousness

today, I was asked for advice on how to make a wedding guest list. I was told that they didn't know Excel.

do you ever feel like there are things in your life that are so ingrained that you find it hard to believe the rest of the world doesn't know about them? I had to explain who Tom Waits was not too long ago. it was actually painful to me that this is a person that needs to be explained. and of course, that made me feel really pretentious. I mean, who am I to say that you should know who Tom Waits is? (I mean, you're totally missing out if you don't. but that's beside the point.) if you aren't familiar with Joss Whedon, you probably miss a lot of my humor and references. but it's you that's missing out. just because these things enhance my life so much doesn't mean that you need them to do the same for yours.

which brings me to my relationship with Excel. it is as much a part of me as JP is. in fact, I spend more time with Excel than my husband. on average, I'd say 6 hours a day. unlike JP and I, Excel and I have had a rocky road. I believe it has to do with the large-ness of the files I want it to deal with. my largest Excel file that I need to alter/use constantly has about 60,000 lines of text. I know, that's a lot. Excel's max is 66,000 (at least until I get Office 07). so, it is very close to being maxed out and it gets angry when I ask it to do more complicated things. like, filtering. Excel has a very great filter that gets rid of duplicates in a file. this is incredibly useful to me. but only if it actually works. and it doesn't work when you have 60,000 lines. it freezes and doesn't auto recover the file. you're definitely out of luck if you haven't saved in a while! yet, it does some really amazing things for me. global search and replace is killer, and VLOOKUP is by far my favorite function, although TRIM and LEN give it a run for its money. and who doesn't like auto sum?

if only you would filter my file, Excel. if only...

Freya's Pepperoni Pasta

ok, this is my newest favorite thing to cook. I balance out the badness of the pepperoni with lots o' veggies.

1/2 box (8oz.) pasta (my fave so far has been farfalle, but elbows were good too)
6 oz stick pepperoni, quartered lengthwise and chopped
1 small zucchini, quartered lengthwise and thinly sliced
1-2 bell peppers (I've used red, green and yellow. or a combination!)
fresh garlic, chopped, to taste (I usually go with 3 or so...but more would probably be better!)
couple handfuls parmigiano or any other shredded hard Italian cheese
red pepper flakes (optional)
extra other cheese (optional)
splash of olive oil

Make pasta according to directions. When you go to drain it, keep a little of the starchy water in the pot, and don't drain the pasta for very long. Set aside.

Heat olive oil in a big frying pan. When hot, add pepperoni, zucchini, peppers, garlic, and red pepper flakes. Let cook for 1-2 minutes. Add cheese, stir well. Dump in pasta with the reserved water and mix like mad. If you like, add more parmigiano or some shredded mozzarella before serving.

Soooo yummy! The key is to not cook the zucchini and peppers too much, so they're still a little crispy.
If you want to avoid as much fatty/greasiness as possible, cook the pepperoni separately and add it right before you add the pasta. Oh, and I bet pepperoncinis would be delicious in this, too.

more about (different) moving

so there's a big shakeup at work and a whole bunch of people have to move offices. including me.
while I am spontaneous to a certain degree, moving and having a brand new situation thrust upon me at work (where I am now finally comfortable after 6 months) is disconcerting. the office I'm moving into is somewhat nicer because I'll get to see a part of the sky. I think it will be less noisy because it's further away from the ceiling-less conference room, and thus, the dreaded conference calls. and my new officemate is Isaac, who I have thoroughly enjoyed talking to in the past.

however...
Anthony has a completely different schedule than I do and we are in the office together for a couple of hours a day at most. so it's almost like having an office to myself. he doesn't know when I come in, so if I decide to duck out 1/2 hour early for an appointment or something , he doesn't know. Isaac seems to work the 9-5, so he'll always know. I'm sure he won't care, but then I'll feel guilty and feel the need to explain about how I'm going to either come in early or leave late the next day and I'll sound all defensive. and, he's the IT guy. this means people coming in all day long with issues.
there's the physical part of moving too. big pain cleaning off my desk. I had to take a piece of paper and attach all of my reminder post-its to it, so I can hang up the post-its in the new office. I had to clean my keyboard (if you haven't done that in the last 6 months, do it! it was one of the grossest things ever, but I feel much less like I'm squashing my fingertips on muckety germiness, which is nice.). I have to take down my calendars and JP's schedule and Julius's picture and rehang them all. I have to unplug everything and then remember how to plug it in again.
and, I asked Isaac if it was ok if I took up about 1/16 of the shelves in the office and he seemed kinda put out. I don't think he's pleased about the switch. his old office is about 3x the size of our new one. is it possible he doesn't want to be my officemate? is that why he's displeased? do I really have to worry about this on top of all the other moving nonsense?

stupid work.
is law school done yet? I'd like to start my career...

have you ever been the whole way around the D.C. beltway and then some? LeeAnn, Todd, Brian, and I have!

this weekend, Zac's new lease started for his apartment in Richmond. he had asked awhile ago for volunteers to drive down with him and help. LeeAnn and I quickly volunteered, but that wasn't good enough. we needed MEN. so Brian and Todd added themselves to the mix. missing were usual suspects JP, Will, and Shannon. JP has way too much law school going on at the moment, and Will and Shan already planned to visit Teri in Harrisburg. so Zac drives up last Wednesday and we hang out until Saturday morning, when we have to wake up early and load his storage unit into the giant 17 foot uhaul. that was less painful than anyone had anticipated, and after picking up the 10 foot extension trailer and loading Zac's car onto it, we're off.

the drive down to Richmond is fairly unremarkable. 6 1/2 hours of rolling hills, followed by traffic, followed by rollling hills. we did stop in Breezewood to eat and while there, called the hotel that we were all staying at. Zac asked if there was anywhere to park the uhaul near the hotel. they said they had a garage, but if it didn't fit in there, there was a place that he could park. yay. makes life much easier.

Brian, LeeAnn, and I arrive before the giant truck (big surprise) and check into the one hotel room. we open our door and are completely amazed. we have a huge suite (possibly larger than my 2 BR apartment) with a living room, tiny dining area, large bathroom, and a bedroom with 2 queen beds. the beds have the largest neckroll pillows I have ever seen. the first order of business was to drop my luggage, run to the bed, jump up and down a couple times, then pick up the pillow and proceed to joust with Brian. he won.
upon exploring our bathroom, we found some interesting things:
1) a bench in the shower. that's kinda weird, but hey, sometimes you are just too tired to stand.
2) a bidet that shoots water extraordinarily high.
3) a small rubber ducky.
the obvious next step was to try to balance the rubber ducky on the bidet water spout. after several unsuccessful tries, both myself and the floor were covered in water, especially after I couldn't figure out how to turn the damn thing off.
Zac and Todd arrive soon after and come to hang out in our room. Todd was a little jealous when he realized that we had 2 peepholes in our door. one at eye level, the other at crotch level. it all clicked then - 2 peepholes, bench in shower, toilet surrounded by metal tubing....we obviously have a handicapped accessible room.

Zac's dad, Barry, also drove down from Philly. we all decided to go to dinner together in the Shokoe (like shock-o), some trendy Richmond neighborhood. so we go to a brewpub that sells really expensive food and have a grand ol' time. at one point, we're talking about how cigarette cherries and popping cherries are called the same thing. Zac is expressing his displeasure at the lack of distinction, and makes a comment about how they should be called fire balls. since the last comment made had been about the popping kind, this was followed by silence. Zac looked confused, and I (and possibly LeeAnn as well) was insulted about my vagina being called a fire ball. shortly thereafter, the correct version of this conversation struck us, and we all laughed.

meanwhile, the uhaul. the street that the hotel was on was half closed due to construction, meaning 1 out of the 2 lanes was blocked off by barrels. the actual lane was still open, just off-limits because this is where the construction workers park. so the receptionist at the hotel told Zac to just go ahead and park there. she said they knew the workers and that it wouldn't be a problem.
fast forward to morning. we wake up and leave our rooms at 8:30am to go get breakfast and then move Zac into his apartment. we walk outside, and lo and behold, the uhaul has been parked in. in fact, it has been parked in in every way possible. there are two rows of cars parked in the empty construction lane. the uhaul is against the curb. Zac goes to talk to the receptionist about it, and she tells him they don't know whose cars those are. and that he shouldn't have parked there in the first place. so what now?
Zac finds a surly construction worker who is parked to the right of and behind the uhaul, and he agrees to move his truck. Zac thinks he has enough clearance to now un-parallel park the uhaul with the car trailer attached. luckily, the car is no longer on the trailer. Brian tries to convince him that this is impossible. meanwhile, LeeAnn and I are waiting for the valet to get my car from the garage. Brian calls me over to convince Zac that he can't unpark the uhaul in its current situation, and I leave LeeAnn to wait for the car. when I get over there, a guy stumbles out of the passenger side of the car parked behind the (now) empty space the construction guy's truck was in. his hair is a mess and he has obviously just woken up in his car. he asks me if he needs to move his car. I tell him yes, and he promptly leaves. maybe we can get the uhaul out yet...

the valet returns with my car, and parks it in the middle of the street, tossing the keys to LeeAnn. he says, "I don't park so good," and leaves. I have to go parallel park my own car. you're a fucking valet. your job is to park. maybe you should find another occupation?

so no go with getting the uhaul out, not with the trailer attached. so we take the 2,000lb trailer off (not an exaggeration, it says the weight on the side) and sort of move it out of the way. Zac gets the truck part out, but now we have to drag the trailer to the truck and reattach it. Not what any of us want to be doing at this time in the morning. finally get this taken care of, and we all troop inside to grab our stuff and check out. this has all taken about an hour and a half.
go to the uhaul place to drop off the trailer, where we are mocked for the way we have reattached the trailer. we're also shown the nice, conveniently located hand jack attached to the trailer. no lifting was necessary. grrrrrr.

caravan to Zac's apartment to drop off the uhaul and go to breakfast. come back and unload the stuff, again, less painful than you would imagine. especially since once it was down to large furniture, LeeAnn and I go to the grocery store to buy Zac all he needs for the first couple days of life in a new apartment: toilet paper, dish soap, scrubby, ramen, frozen pizzas, beer, garbage bags, eggs, cleaning spray, cereal, milk, a small potted mum, etc.
we come back, the boys put the bed together and LeeAnn and I unpack the kitchen. then it's time to go.

we set off around 2:30. the drive home is almost as much of a disaster as unparking the uhaul. about an hour and a half into the drive, we decide to stop at a dunkin donuts advertised off the highway. once we exit, it proclaims dunkin donuts is about 3 miles away. fine. get there, eat donuts, get back on the road. I ask Todd to drive because I'm exhausted. before I fall asleep, I give the guys directions. 95 to 495 to 70 to 76. always going north or west. I fall asleep.
I wake up and groggily look out the window. 495 S.

S? S as in south??

So I ask if we are, in fact, on 495 south. Brian tentatively says no, that's just a sign for the next exit. I don't think he even convinced himself. so I call Zac. he asks where we are, and when I tell him that we've just crossed the Woodrow Wilson bridge, he gets kinda quiet. then we see "Welcome to Viriginia!". Zac tells me the fastest way at this point is to continue on the beltway. and how'd we miss 270?
270! dammit. I knew that. and if I hadn't been sleeping, I would've seen a sign for 270 and remembered. instead, we drove the whole way around the beltway. and then some. we probably lost about an hour and a half. and it's all my fault.

so we slog along, eventually making it to the turnpike, where we start talking about how we're really excited for rainstorms come summer. you know, when the rain REALLY pours down?
no lie - 5 minutes later, we are beset by an intense thunderstorm.

the rest of the trip was uneventful.

easyly, huh?

Which Gilmore Girl are you? (girls only)

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I am a guitar hero

some of you may know of the obsession. some of you only may have heard of the game. and some of you may be clueless.

my friends and I have turned into heroes. guitar heroes.

I blame Silent Bob. one innocent day, he brought it to Will and Shannon's. I'm sure he was aware of the chaos that would ensue. because, really, who can play that game and not immediately need it?
thanks to my raise/bonus, the day after playing it, I took JP to Game Stop. we walked in about 10 minutes after they opened, and I told the still-drinking-his-coffee salesguy that I needed a PS2, guitar hero 2, 2 guitars, DDR, and 2 dance pads (because why would you own a PS2 and NOT DDR? come on!). he gathered everything together as JP grinned next to me. and then we took it home.

my life has changed. the way I listen to music is heavily affected. I no longer hear the soulful lyrics belted out or even the whining of emo anymore. I hear the guitar. and bass.

does that solo sound too hard?
that bass line would be really tough, even on medium!
listen to that great guitar work on the chorus!

the words "this would be a really good guitar hero song!" pass from my lips on a daily basis. it's the source of most of JP and I's conversations in the car. if NPR isn't on, I'm patrolling the stations for the newest good guitar hero song. I wonder if they take requests?

and it's not just me. Shannon does it. Will and Kara, too. and when Zac arrived on Wednesday, we sat him down and told him the truth: we are all addicted to guitar hero.
he was surprised to learn that in the 3 weeks he had been out of the country, we managed to find something so all-consuming. I think we've managed to suck him in though.

and now we learn there is merchandise. I have to have something. I'm torn about what I want my guitar hero message to the world to be. I can't get the "I play on expert!" or "I use all the frets!" because I don't. but guitar hero girl? I'm totally considering it.

Lost quotes

ok, so I just wanted to document my two favorite Lost quotes from this spring season so far. don't worry, no spoilers. just things that make me giggle.

Sawyer: "Well, look who's hooked on phonics!"

Ben: "Unfortunately, we don’t have a code for 'there’s a man in the closet with a gun to my daughter’s head.' But apparently we should."

less bitchy, more philosophical

I am a crazy multi-tasker. I don't believe in doing just one thing if it can be helped. right now, I have 3 tabs on Firefox, 2 excel files, a notepad file, and 'my documents' open. I have used all of them in the past 15 minutes. most of them are unrelated. I would be listening to my iPod, but it's charging at the moment. I listen to my iPod on any walk that I take throughout the day. I watch tv while uploading my latest photos or adding to my iTunes library. I listen to my iPod while cleaning. I talk on the phone while on the bus, if I'm not reading. I read while waiting for the bus, standing up. when I used to smoke, I would go outside by myself and read for the 6 minutes it took me to smoke a cigarette. I drink water while talking on the phone while walking to the bus stop while rifling through my bag for my planner/quarters/lip balm/whatever.
now, I'm sure some of you would say this is how I manage to make life a struggle and hurt myself so often. and there are about a bazillion reports out there on how multi-tasking is actually the least productive thing you can do. but I can't help it. I feel like I need the stimulation.
work has been really busy this week. like, really busy. I've-been-eating-lunch-at-my-desk busy. and about 15 minutes ago, I had had enough. so I got up and walked out the back door, not really knowing what I was doing. I had my id to get back in the building and the key to my office. and that was it. no purse, no money, no iPod, no phone, no book, no nothing. so I walked around the block.
I watched a high school kid almost miss a bus and run full speed down the street to catch it. I saw 3 girls jogging in exercise clothing, accompanied by their male friend wearing a shirt and tie (also jogging). I saw a woman break into a jog to meet someone and give them a hug. there was a chick wearing this really cute plaid skirt (a la punk rock, not Britney), tall boots, and with bleached blonde fluffy hair in a high ponytail. she was adorable. I heard all the traffic, a car alarm, and then was amazed when I walked around the back of my building and was met with near silence. is this what I've been missing? I feel like I smiled the whole time. and I got that "good" feeling. you ever get that? it sorta just wells up in me that everything really is great, and that suddenly it's not such a big deal that I use paper towels to dry my hands (not environmentally friendly!) or that some guy cut me off on the way to work (angerfying!) or that there were a bunch of things to do today (finish work, do dishes, make brownies, hang out with LeeAnn, resist smoking). I'm even less stressed about my messy, messy desk.
I feel good.
I guess sometimes you just have to stop the multi-tasking and see everything for a moment.

letter to God

dear God,

if you wanted people to help each other, why did you make the customer service reps at my credit union so stupid?

love,
Freya

don't be a dna stalker!

I found this today. a poster of dna. whoever's dna you want! the cat's, your hubby's, or that chick you secretly think is hot.
although, there is a whole creepy factor of putting someone's dna on your wall without their knowledge. it's sorta like the ultimate naked picture.

letter to my co-workers

dear communal microwave users,

today, I spent about 15 minutes trying to scrub out our microwave. I am by no means a neat freak, but the smell and crusted, spattered food was getting to me. I had to remove a paper towel from the glass plate by soaking it in water. I understand you may have thought you were being considerate by not spilling onto the plate, but you left it there collecting your overflow, which became glue-like when dried, and then was undoubtedly re-microwaved by the person who used it after you. if you are going to do that, at least have the courtesy to throw away the goddamn paper towel. or, better yet, save mother nature and WIPE UP YOUR GODDAMN MESS. what are you, 4? if you do indeed have someone who cleans up after you at home, please come see me. I would like to get the contact info for that person and yell at them about how they've made you a crappy co-worker because of it. if not, you have no excuse except that you figure someone else will do it. that's not an excuse, that's called being inconsiderate.

thanks for the lesson in congealed food removal!

~Freya

can I start over?

god, this is the worst morning EVER. so far, I've been out of bed for less than an hour and a half. The following bad things have happened to me:

1) realizing that I left my phone at home, when there's a big life event that I'm waiting to hear about
2) falling on my ass on the street (next to lulu's. it's icing this morning.)
3) spilling scalding hot coffee all over my hand (not during the fall, but mere moments later)
4) while running cool water over my burned hand, elbowing my sunglasses and breaking them

no, really, I'm just waiting for the meteor to hit and destroy me utterly.
what did I do to deserve this? was it all the DDR that I played last night? did I disturb my neighbors? I didn't know, I swear it! take it back! please! let my phone appear in my bag! maybe I didn't forget it. I'll go check again.

not there.

UPDATE: 4 hours later, and I have JP's phone. I got the important call (which was that Will and Shannon are indeed engaged!). my lunch pasta is yummy.
life is back to good.

Amazon.com reviews

while shopping for items that I don't know much about, I find that a lot of times reviews will steer me in one direction or another. if everyone posts about the same coffee pot spontaneously combusting, I'm going to buy the other one. if there are mixed reviews, it becomes much more difficult. however, there are those reviews that I just don't understand. here's my latest favorite Amazon review. it's of the iDog, the plastic dog that projects your iPod through its mini speakers and dances a bit to the music. this is what the lady said:

"Bought this toy for my daughter for Christmas assuming it would be reasonably intelligent and actually do something. Beware...it doesn't. I'm still not sure what it does other than make a few movements based off the music. Plus have plenty of batteries on hand as it eats batteries to the tune of 2+ per day."

I posted the following comment to what I believe to be a ridiculously unfair review:

""assuming it would be reasonably intelligent"?? It's an electronic device, not a college professor.
"I'm still not sure what it does other than make a few movements based off the music." - well, honey, that's what it's supposed to do. My vacuum cleaner doesn't wash dishes, but I don't give it a bad review because of that.
I don't own this thing, but your complaints drive me crazy. They're rooted in high expectations of something that is plastic, less than $30, and does only what is advertised. It's not a real dog!"

I'm really curious as to what she was expecting. I think the eating batteries complaint is valid, but the other comments? gimme a break.

here's another oldie-but-a-goodie. discussing an air released treatment for cats that helps them stop spraying:

"My cat stopped urinating after plugging in the diffuser. It's well worth it to not have to worry about pet stains and odor."

here's the thing. she only gave the product 4 stars. what else does this device need to do in order to get that extra star? sounds like it did all that was promised! were you disappointed that it didn't give you interesting topics to discuss on your blind date? were you hoping to wake up every morning and find that it had made you coffee?

maybe it just wasn't intelligent enough for her.

recommendation letter

JP wants to apply for a summer program, but needs letters of recommendation by Thursday. I wrote one for him below. Feel free to write your own in the comments.

Dear So-and-So,

JP is wonderful and you're lucky he's applying to your program.

You better pick him or you're making a big mistake, maybe the biggest of your life.

How do you feel about that, huh?

Sincerely,

Not his wife,

Freya

no taste

for the past couple days, I've been looking at local real estate online. and you know what I've discovered?

people have the worst taste.

it's terrible! one house has an entire sliding glass door dripping in lace, another has a WALL OF MIRRORS (picture 3 of 6) in their living room.
who, when picking out carpeting, says to themselves, "you know what would be great? hunter green throughout the whole house!"

I'm appalled. I wouldn't move into some of those houses just because of the decor. I know most of it doesn't come with the house, but I can't help it.

note on recent weather phenomenon

Dear Mother Nature,

WTF? We are sick of this crap.
Please start the thawing process.

Love,
Shannon & Freya

customer service

I somehow feel like my rants about customer service on this blog make me seem like I'm high maintenance. after you read this, let me know what you think....
at the end of january, I bought some lavender essential oil from a site similar to ebay, called ioffer. I was sent a message saying that the seller would contact me shortly with payment details.
a couple days go by, and no message from the seller. I wrote to them asking how I could pay for this.
no message.
a couple days ago (about a month later!), I get a message from them saying they're sorry and they lost my order. to make up for it, they'll give me free shipping. ok, good deal. as far as I'm concerned, they have fully redeemed themselves. make a payment through PayPal.
I read the email again and realize that it says the free shipping is only good for the oil in a plastic container, not the pretty amber colored glass that was pictured (and promised!). so that seems kinda crappy. "sorry we lost your order, here's free shipping to make up for it. by the way, that free shipping? it means we downgraded your order."
standard shipping was $5. $5! I would've paid it, happily, even after the losing my order thing. what's the price difference between the bottles? I'm guessing a buck or two. so I email them and tell them I thought it was kind of crappy they did that. and you know what they did? returned my payment and sent me a nasty email about how they didn't have to give me free shipping and if I was going to complain, too bad. I don't get my stuff.
so I sent an email back that says:
"Wow. Your customer service has been really amazing. I try to buy something, you take a month to respond. I complain, you cancel the order. That's mature."
and I get a response that says:

"I made an offer to to pay for shipping on a "HDPE" container I did not have to do that - YOU accepted that offer, then then YOU complained it was not in glass and felt you where not getting what you paid for. The listing clearly states Buyer will PAY FOR shipping at the calculated rate. I could not help that the new setup did not generate an email.

I went into Paypal to accept payment and found that you do not have a confirmed shipping address. Just another nasty feeling coming my way. I felt it would be in both our interests to just walk away. Sorry it wasted BOTH of our time but had to go with my gut feeling."
gut feeling? about how if she took my payment my package might not arrive at my unconfirmed address? are you kidding?
so I sent back an email that said:
"Well, God forbid someone move. Really.
There's no "have to" about customer service. It's merely something you do so that you retain customers. This is possibly the most ridiculous thing I have ever encountered."
I know that's kinda bitchy, but come on. cancelling my order? after you screwed up in the first place?
no one buy anything from 'Fragrances for Less' on ebay or ioffer or anywhere else.

grammar maven

ok, as a mini-linguist, I don't put too much stock in grammar rules. there's not really any "correct" way to speak. things are being added to our language all the time, vocabulary, grammar structure, etc. what was not considered grammatical 100 years ago may be common practice today.
however....
there are punctuation misuses that really piss me off.
first of all, quotes. quotes are used to show what someone said or to indicate that something is not quite as it appears. think of it as sarcasm of a sort in written form. it is not for emphasis people! therefore, when your sign says:
"fresh" fish!
I am unlikely to buy your fish. are you really telling me that the fish appears to be fresh, but really isn't? because that's not a good marketing strategy.
I saw another today:
BINGO
"$8,000" Jackpot!
so, it's not really $8,000? you're just leading us to believe it is to draw us into a game of bingo? that's lame.
the other one that really gets me is the apostrophe. apostrophes generally mean contraction or possession. therefore, if your sign says:
Red Pepper's!
I want to know what of the red pepper you are selling.
there are plenty of ways to emphasize things. using bold, italics, different fonts, different sizes, etc. there is a whole field of artistry in this regard.
and who is printing these signs?? why aren't these people going, "you know, that's wrong. maybe I should tell them!"

raise!

I just got a raise.
I've gotten a raise before. I went from $6/hour to $6.25/hour. That's a difference of about $40/month, if you work full time. I didn't at the time, I worked about 15 hours a week. Which means that it's about $15-20/month.
usually raises are about 3% or so, to cover inflation. or so I've been told.
mine was over 20%. and it's retroactive from November 1. I'm guessing that isn't normal.

oh. my. god.

this means JP and I are totally financially independent. we don't need any help to make it through our day-to-day lives, and we can save money and pay off debts and have fun.

does this mean I'm good at my job?

good news/bad news...why does it always come together?

a couple hours ago, my friend Steph called me. Steph and I have been friends since the ashtray days of Pitt, along with JP, Will, and everyone else. after a circuitous route of baby, marriage, and joining the army, she ended up in Georgia. we're both pretty bad about staying in touch, although she has a much better reason than I do (3 kids under 6!). we fell out of touch for about 8 months once, and when I finally called, she had had another girl! surprise!
we were, of course, concerned when the war started, but everything seemed to be ok. it wasn't until December of 2004 that we found out she was going to Iraq. in January. leaving behind 3 year old Nikki and 6 month old Olivia. ouch.
so, we fell out of touch again. I figured she was in Iraq and we had never heard from her or James on how to contact her. I tried contacting the military, but they were not very helpful, especially since all I had was a name.
so finally, one day I decide to call their old number, hoping there was a forwarding one. Steph picked up the phone. I was totally flabbergasted and super pleased. why wasn't she in Iraq?? because she was pregnant with Ava. found out about 3 days before she was going to be shipped out. sweet!
so it was a little bit before we talked again and then Steph and James came out for the wedding, which was so much fun. all was well.
I had been thinking about her for awhile now and meaning to call. today, my phone rings and it's Steph! she's coming to town! unfortunately, it's because her grandmother died. she is spending a whole week here, so we'll get to see her. super.
then the bad news: she's being deployed in May. for a year.

a year of my life is not so long. sure, some afternoons feel like a lifetime, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not so long. do you remember when you were a kid? when a year lasted forever? do you remember when your parents might be out of town or just out for the day and you actually missed them for that very short period of time?
now, can you even imagine what a year without your mother feels like to a 6 year old? a 3 year old? an almost 2 year old? I bet it's forever.
and you know what the worst part is? that even if congress gets their act together and pulls out all the troops by the end of the year (not that I really believe that it will happen), Steph will still be in Iraq for 7 months.
in 7 months, you can learn to talk. you can learn your alphabet and to read and a whole host of other things. especially if you're 2. or 3. or even 6.
I totally completely believe that James is a great dad to these girls. I don't think for a second that they will be neglected or harmed in any way just because Steph isn't there.
but wouldn't you miss your mom? I get sad when I don't see mine for a couple weeks. and I can call her. whenever I need her. and I'm 25.
what do you tell your kids? how do you tell them? how far ahead of time? how do you justify this to a kid that's losing their mother for a year? politics? oil? terrorists? I don't think I understand it, and I read/hear about it every day.

what a crazy fucked up world this can be.

nicoderm CQ doesn't lie when they say you'll have "vivid dreams"

a couple days ago, I decided to forgo nicotine lozenges and try the patch. I was tired of not being able to drink while I had one in my mouth and they last for about an hour and a half. that's a long time without drinking! and I had to keep up with them. I'd totally feel the withdrawal if I didn't. so the patch seemed easy. just stick it on, 24 hours later take it off, and put on a new one. repeat. not hard.
so I did all sorts of research and the side effects were essentially the same as any nicotine replacement system. except one. users may experience "vivid dreams" if you wear the patch at night.
normally, I don't dream all that much. if I do, I vaguely remember what the dream was about, but that's it. vivid dreams seemed like a kinda cool side effect to me.
yesterday, I got the patch. stuck it on around 11pm and eventually went to sleep.
I DREAMED ALL NIGHT LONG.
two separate dreams. one was a 2 parter too.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO TIRED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
I swear, getting 2 hours of sleep is more refreshing than this.

the first dream was rather mundane. we (no idea who this included other than me) were at a party, drinking with Ben Roethlisberger. except he was only 18. the party got busted by the cops, but of course, no one got in trouble since we were with Big Ben. I have no idea where this came from.

the next dream was much more involved. I was on my way to a Mary Kay party at Kathleen's and had to pick something up at my mother's house. when I got there, there was an impromptu baby shower going on (for who, I have no idea). my mother was annoyed because, apparently, all these people just showed up for a baby shower with no notice. so then I got to thinking and realized that I was missing another shower I was supposed to go to. I called Kathleen and told her I would be late because I had to go there. instead of going there, I went to Josh's mother's house for a party. it was a big crazy party with all sorts of people I didn't know. I was having a great time talking to everyone. her house was like a zoo. there were dogs and ferrets and cats and all sorts of animals everywhere. so I'm talking to this guy and we're talking about the animals. I guess he hadn't noticed all the animals, because once I mentioned it, he looks at me and then gets on his phone. to call the police. because he's a cop.
turns out she's illegally keeping animals there. chinchillas and mice and one of her dogs are all illegal animals. I wander outside and the police are coming and everyone is looking at me. they all know it's my fault. so I could've left then, but I couldn't find my car. I decided to 'fess up and apologize. so I go and talk to Josh's mom. she's pleased that I confessed, but understandably pissed that they're taking her pets away. and they've got them stored in one of those sets of plastic drawers. like the ones that you would use to organize nails and things? only with bigger drawers. one drawer is totally full of mice, there are 4 ferrets in another.
so I leave to find my car. and I find it...or so I think. there's a blue mazda protege 5 missing its license plate, taillights smashed in, stickers ripped off (in the exact place where there are stickers on my car), and something keyed into the side, which someone was nice enough to point out to me. then I look and there's a red bug parked in front of it. I took JP's car to the party! they totally destroyed the wrong car!
I get in the car with Lisa Mauti (the little sister of someone I went to high school with who works in my office now) and we drive to Kathleen's. it's a crazy drive, with lots of near accidents, but we get there.

so the dream gets deconstructed as follows:
1) Kathleen is actually having a Mary Kay party tonight, and it's going to be a tight squeeze taking the bus home, eating something, and picking up wine (not at my mother's house, though) to get there on time.
2) I did miss a baby shower last week. however, I was invited last minute and already had plans. I still feel guilty.
3) last night, I mentioned how I hadn't seen/talked to Josh in awhile. I feel guilty about this.
4) Josh's mom has 2 german shepherds, which I imagine is sorta like a zoo, though hardly as crazy as her house in my dream. I also owe her wedding pics of Josh and myself.
5) I need to get one of those plastic drawer things for my yarn.
6) my car is getting inspected and I'm afraid it's going to have problems. tonight, I have to take JP's car to Kathleen's.
7) the roads were sucky when I drove LeeAnn home last night.
8) I am apparently quite afraid of police.

how my subconscious put all that together like it did is beyond me.
I'll wear the patch to sleep tonight and see how it goes. if things don't improve, I'm taking it off at night.

Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. The current world record is 5 minutes, 12 seconds.

I am currently wiping away tears of laughter, alone in my office.
go here right now to see why.

tv characters I hate

yesterday, I was reading my favorite pop culture blog and there was an entry that listed her top ten hated tv characters. while I agreed with many of them, I decided I should compile my own list. WARNING: if you haven't watched these shows, there are spoilers:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, seasons 1-5
24, no spoilers
Lost, season 1
Battlestar Galactica, seasons 1-2
Angel, seasons 1-4
the L word, no spoilers
Project Runway, season 3

10. Angel, 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'
while I love love love his character on his own show, Angel on 'Buffy' is a mopey downer. I never understood the appeal. I sorta liked him when he turned evil, but that was not the majority of his character. and in season 3? please! he needed to be sent the hell outta dodge. and so he was. good call Joss.

9. Chloe O'Brien, '24'
I'm sorry. I hate Chloe. my tolerance has gone up, but every time she opens her mouth, I cringe. she's just that annoying. maybe if she didn't make the face all the time it would be better. you know the one. it's when she purses her lips and looks all disapproving.

8. Riley Finn, 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'
while I appreciate the confirmation that the government does know about vamps and demons and the like, I thought the Initiative boys sucked hardcore. way too army, and at the same time, not that bad ass. if I had a giant stun gun, I could probably take out some "hostiles" too. and I don't even get super-drugged food. plus, finding out you're not as great as you thought you were and that those you admired are evil is something we've all gone through. I thought Riley took it way too poorly. and who goes to prostitute vampires? gimme a break.

7. Claire, 'Lost'
waaahh, I had a baby on a deserted island. waaahh, the only person that is nice to me and close to me used to do heroin. quit yer whining. everyone's stuck on a deserted island. everyone's got issues.

6. Helo, 'Battlestar Galactica'
he hasn't done anything of note except be upset that his cylon girlfriend in a different body loved someone else. and has his crazy half-breed kid that he's overly protective of. never mind that most of mankind has been destroyed. helo's heart is broken. what a soldier, huh?

5. Gavin Park, 'Angel'
I much prefer the evil Lindsay or Lilah to Gavin's sneaky bureaucratic nonsense. whoo! taxes are scary! much scarier than, you know, evil monsters. don't cancel my lease! we can't fight crime or evil without a lease!

4. Dawn Summers, 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'
by far, one of the most obnoxious fictional people ever. talk about jumping the shark. again, with the everyone has issues and deals just fine. why are you the whiny one? you kind of don't exist? well, is that really any harder than your sister who has been chosen in all the world to save it from evil? didn't think so.

3. Jeffrey Sebelia, 'Project Runway'
this one is the worst because he is REAL! if I ever encountered someone as shitty to me as he was to, well, everyone, I would banish them to outer space. no, really. I would hire people to make the technology to banish him. his kid is cute though.

2. Jenny Schecter, 'the L word'
the epitome of the stereotype about writers. Jenny is so self-absorbed that it's not believable. plus, the things she does to people are so sucky. I hardly think anyone would be able to stand her in real life. yet, she still has friends! why? she sucks so much!

and the number one most hated tv character of mine:

1. Conor, 'Angel'
there is not one redeemable thing about Conor. again with the whining. you grew up in a hell dimension? aww, poor kid. your dad used to be evil and isn't anymore? well, gee, none of us ever had parent issues. yet we managed not to trap them on the ocean floor or sleep with their girlfriends. you're a crappy, brooding person Conor. just do us a favor and shut the hell up.

I hate giant eagle's pharmacy much less

yesterday, I wrote an angry email to giant eagle that contained the contents of the entry below and a previous entry about hating giant eagle's pharmacy. this was sometime in the afternoon.
at 4:55pm, someone named Mike from the specific giant eagle I complained about called me. he talked to JP because I was driving and addressed every single point I made in the email, apologizing profusely and asking me to give him a call today to speak with him further.
so I called him. he again addressed everything that I had written, apologizing. he told me he was shocked that this was happening and that he had had no idea. he thanked me for writing the letter, for letting him know that there was a problem that he could address with his staff. he also told me he would show it to his supervisor and the entire pharmacy. I felt bad about that part. my point wasn't to get anyone in trouble, it was to tell them that I had been outraged on several occasions and to figure out why they were sucking!
then he tells me that he's putting a gift card in the mail for me since I had obviously taken time to write and send the letter, which he appreciated. wowza.
you know, customer service like this is what makes me WANT to give my business to them over someone else.
now I'm going to write a nice letter to Mike's supervisor telling them how pleased I am with how the situation was handled.

what horrible Edward Gorey death will you die?

What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?

You will be sucked dry by a leech. I'd stay away from swimming holes, and stick to good old cement. Even if it does hurt like hell when your toe scrapes the bottom.
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I hate giant eagle's pharmacy

there is no end to my hatred. every day, I find I have more and more reasons to hate them. I know I've mentioned it before, but here's the latest in my unhappiness.
JP needs to have a prescription refilled. it's for nasonex, which is an allergy nasal spray, like flonase. last time he got it filled at eckerd, he forgot to have them give him the generic. that sucks because our insurance only covers the generic. and no one at the pharmacy said anything like, gee, this is expensive. want the generic? but whatever. fine.
so yesterday, he calls giant eagle pharmacy and asks them to call eckerd and refill it for him. they take his name, birthday, and prescription name. he asks for a generic. they tell him there is no generic of nasonex (there is. I looked it up.). fine. we'll pay for the goddamn name brand. then they tell him it'll be "a couple hours". a couple hours to do what, exactly? first of all, it doesn't take that long to call eckerd. secondly, it's not even pills. you grab that shit off the shelf and put it in a bag. he had hung up the phone by the time I was ready to scream at whoever told him that. see, we were driving home at the time and the plan was for me to drop JP off and go to ge to shop and get his 'script. now it's a no-go. and if he can't get it tonight, I don't want to give them our business. so I tell him to call them back and say never mind. they go through the whole rigormoreall of asking for his name, birthday, etc. again and then try to convince him to still get it filled there! are you kidding??
ok, fine. drop off JP, go to ge. I'm trying to find those breathe right strips because I was thinking they'd help JP since he can't get his medicine. can't find them. ask at the pharmacy. the guy looks for them (not all that hard), can't find them. asks someone else at the pharmacy, who also, can't find them. they tell me sorry, and the one guy suggests they don't make them anymore. um, no. just saw a commercial the other day buddy. thanks.
so I wander down each individual aisle, staring. and I find them. yes, it took a little bit. but you know what? that was maybe the second time I've been in the health&beauty section of that giant eagle. why doesn't the guy who works there know? and why when he can't find it do we assume the product is no longer made?
I was so ticked! I wish it weren't so damn convenient to go there or I'd never give them my business. goddamn.
all right, I'm off to write an angry email to customer service.

successes and failures

well, quitting smoking is starting to be much harder. on Friday, I smoked a cigarette. on Saturday, I smoked 4. I blame the booze and all my friends who smoke. =)
no, really, it's hard to drink and watch other people smoke. plus Saturday was the hardest day yet. I spent all day cleaning and I don't know how to take a quick break from cleaning if I don't have a cigarette. so I was miserable all day. then I show up at Brett and Andrea's and Cracker is there. with her. there's nothing more uncomfortable than avoiding someone who used to be one of your closest friends! JP had a conversation with him, but I'm not ready to. not unless it starts with "Freya, I'm sorry." especially since I (and others) consider myself blame-free in the entire incident. I won't pretend like he just didn't speak to me for a year or come to my wedding and that I can ask him how the kids are. gimme a break.
anyways...
Sunday I smoked one cigarette. yesterday, I hit 2 cigarettes. does that count as smoking a cigarette? I don't know.
success would be the cleanliness of the apartment (yay!) except for the dishes (booooo!). last night, I was feeling peckish, as often happens nowadays while watching tv and not smoking. I decided to throw together ghetto chicken noodle soup. I put some broth and water in a pot, waited for it to boil. threw in a couple handfuls of egg noodles and 3 celery stalks, chopped. in about 10 minutes, I had soup! it was a very satisfying snack, not terrible for me (kinda starchy, but it could've been worse), and now I had lunch for JP and I today. yay!

I promise deliciousness!

on Valentine's Day, I decided to make chocolate chip cookies for me and JP (mostly for me). I decided to double the recipe (who does that?!? cookies for 2...recipe says it makes 50. I'll make 100!). anyways...I screwed up. looking at the recipe, I thought it called for 1/4 c. of butter, which is 1/2 stick. in fact, it was 1/4 lb of butter, which is a whole stick. not a big deal, unless you only have 1 stick of butter, which I did. of course, I had already mixed the sugar in, so there was no going back. I threw in the equivalent of shortening, and the cookies were fantastic. the best chocolate chip cookies ever made, possibly. they were gorgeous, tasted fantastic, and were crispy on the outside, chewy in the middle. I got raves. here's the recipe (adapted from fannie farmer. I suggest halving the recipe, unless you're feeding a crowd):

Ingredients:

1 stick butter, softened
1/2 cup shortening
1 cup dark brown sugar (I used light, but I bet dark is better)
1 cup granulated sugar
2 eggs
1/2 tablespoon vanilla
2 1/4 cups flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup chopped nuts
2 cups (12 ounces) semisweet chocolate chips

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees and grease some cookie sheets. Cream the butter and shortening, then gradually add the two sugars, beating until light and smooth. Beat in the egg and vanilla. Mix the flour, salt, and baking soda together and add it to the first mixture, blending well. Stir in the nuts and the chocolate chips. Drop by teaspoonfuls onto the cookie sheets about 1 inch apart and bake for 8-10 minutes or until lightly browned. (mine took a bit longer, but I like to make big cookies.)

enjoy!

thank you for not smoking

at the beep, it will be 4:12 pm.

BEEP.

this means that in the past 94 hours (almost to the minute!), I have smoked exactly 1 cigarette.
I used to smoke 1 cigarette before I got to work! Most times 2!
I have gone through countless nicotine lozenges, eaten piles of grapes, wasabi peas, and chocolate chip cookies, and frequently thought to myself, I would like to have a cigarette right now. But I've only had 1.
I just keep thinking how exciting it will be when I literally can't remember my last cigarette (although, if it ends up being last night, it's preserved here on the internet forever, so I will. but you know what I mean.). the word 'non-smoker' will soon be part of my identity.
and you know what?

it's not that hard.

I thought there would be crying, feelings of being tortured by Jack Bauer, and bitchiness. there hasn't been. lingering cravings, yes. more than I can handle? absolutely not. it's like a wrestling match against myself now. who will win? non-smoker freya or smoker freya??
I'm betting on the former.

british spellings

lately, I have found myself using some british spellings. I only know that they're not "correct" because of my gmail spellcheck (which, ironically enough, does not recognize the word 'gmail').
a-ha! you say. you just spelled it 'recognize'! that's not british!
well, my british spellings are very specific. first of all, I don't like the 's' instead of 'z' (and it's pronounced "zeeeeee" not "zed"). I am also against the extra 'u' in color and favor(ite) and the extra consonant + 'e' in shoppe. however, I am a big, BIG fan of the double 'l' in travelling and cancelling. I think it's just plain prettier that way. and dialogs? eww. the word 'logs' is just plain ugly in general. I know it's big, it's heavy, it's wood. I'll even admit it's better than bad, it's good, but I just don't like the way it looks (and to all of you that are confused by that last sentence, think back to your ren&stimpy days. if you're still confused, go here). so I say dialogues. so nice and fancy lookin.

big jerk

if you read my 'ideal-me' post, you'll know that I'm trying not to be so angered by little things. don't get me wrong, I'm a pretty happy-go-lucky person. I get angry swiftly and am over it almost immediately. however, people who are jerks inspire anger like no other.
yesterday, I drove to work. behind my office, there are exactly 2 parking spots available. it is fairly rare that I get one of these, so I usually park at a meter. this involves moving my car multiple times throughout the day.
since I work in oakland, parking is in high demand. i usually have to make a loop or two before I find a spot. yesterday was particularly awful.
after driving around for 15 minutes looking for a parking spot, I came across a place where someone was taking up 2 metered spots. you've read about my feelings on this before. so I was angered. as I drove past, I realized the person was still in their SUV. so I rolled down my window and asked him to pull up, since he was taking up 2 spots. he had about 5 feet between his car and the car in front of him. he told me he didn't think he was taking up 2 spots. i pointed out the fact that his car was parked directly between 2 meters. he looked and sighed and said that he would move.
HE PULLED UP ABOUT 1 FOOT.
I was livid.
if there had been eggs in my car, I would've thrown them at him. not his car, his person. he then proceeded to ignore me after that, and go back to reading some paperwork, still sitting in his shittily parked car.
it took me another 5-10 minutes to find parking after that. if it hadn't been below 20 degrees, I would have left him a nasty note. I could barely feel my hands, so I knew writing wasn't going to work. I was disappointed that I didn't get to do that, but I drew a picture to illustrate my anger.
grrrrrrrrr.

Used tombstone, perfect for someone named Homer HendelBergenHeinzel

you can't make this shit up

you say potato, i say...you look like one.

have a happy vd.

binge eating

on sunday, I believe I outdid myself. I know that eating lots of food in groups of people is a superbowl tradition. I'm all about lots of snack-y eating! however, I'm not sure I've ever consumed as much in such short amount of time. I'm going to itemize it, just so we can all get an idea. This all took place between 4:30pm and 10:00pm, on the day of the california primary.
oh wait. that's 24.
this was on superbowl day.

- approximately 10 mini meatballs
- 2 chicken drumsticks
- several handfuls of tortilla chips with velveeta/chili dip
- several handfuls of tortilla chips with taco dip (you know, the cream cheese+taco seasoning layered with cheese, sour cream, and salsa)
- 2 or 3 pieces of jp's cheesy pepperoni bread
- handful of raw veggies
- 2 pieces of chocolate cake
- a cupcake

you know, it doesn't seem like so much in this list form. jp was appalled when I listed it for him. so was my boss.
my belly hurt that night.

don't drink, don't smoke - what do you do?

after reading a neat new blog that I found and binge eating yesterday, I (once again) found myself thinking about the 'ideal' me. by ideal, I mean the nonexistent-who-does-everything-that-I've-ever-wanted-to-do-with-my-life-in-general me. here's the list:

the ideal me:

*wakes up with enough time to make coffee and lunches, shower, blowdry their hair, pet the cats, and check the weather and news. and gets to work by 8:30. by taking the bus, not driving.
*spends a little time each day picking up so that the apartment is always in good shape.
*cleans the litterbox every other day.
*does the dishes every day.
*cooks enough healthy meals for the week, making frozen pizza obsolete.
*plans cooking these healthy meals so that only 1 trip to the grocery store is necessary.
*stops smoking cigarettes. and never starts again.
*flosses every day.
*vacuums the furniture weekly.
*sweeps and mops the kitchen (even under the fridge!) twice a week.
*remembers to wipe down the cabinets, dishwasher, and refrigerator every once in awhile.
*cleans the oven at a time other than the day before she moves out of an apartment.
*exercises at least a little every day.
*plays with each of the cats for at least 20 minutes every day.
*meditates every day.
*takes a multi-vitamin, calcium, vitamin b, and vitamin e.
*goes to sleep early.
*makes sure that JP is well-fed, warm, and gets enough sleep. and enough kisses.
*spends more time outdoors.
*regularly weeds out clothing and shoes that are no longer needed and remembers to donate it, not just stick it in a box in storage.
*eats packed lunch, thereby both saving money and eating healthier.
*takes up new craft-y hobbies, like sewing or scrapbooking.
*reads a book a week.
*reads meaningful magazines (the Atlantic, Scientific American, the Economist, Foreign Affairs)
*listens to NPR daily
*bothers to wear makeup and not jeans once in awhile. like, maybe, once a week?
*watches movies that are meaningful and well done. also catches up on classics she may have missed.
*listens to music more often.
*actively hunts for new music.

the ideal me does not:

*watch hours of television a day because she has no desire to move.
*write blog entries at work.
*spend money on things she doesn't need and then wonder how she will justify it, both to herself and JP.
*binge drink to the point of: embarrassing slurring, burning other people's carpets, systematically calling everyone in her phone, or needing a day of recovery.
*binge eat. a serving of ice cream is not 1 pint. it's not even 1/2 pint. and a cookie serving is usually 2. not 1 row.
*become unnecessarily angry at other drivers. unless they're incredibly stupid. and then she's angry, but it's fleeting.
*nap. because she goes to bed early enough to get lots of sleep!
*snap at people when she's cranky. she realizes it's not her brother's fault that she has PMS, and accordingly, doesn't deserve to be yelled at.
*buy decorations for a room, decide she doesn't like them, and redesigns the room with all new supplies, never using the old decorations.

I'm not sure that I'm giving myself enough credit. I do (and don't do) many of my ideal me things. I just don't happen to do (or not do) them as often (not often) as I'd like, or as well as I'd like.
Besides, I'm not sure I want to be my ideal me. She's kinda a goody-goody.

productivity!

ok, so i haven't been as productive this week as i would've liked. but i did find something neat to help with that. it's a web app that lets you enter your goals and then track when you do them. they can be positive or negative goals. and you can decide which days the goal shows up on your little tracking table. so, if i want to cook 4 times a week, but i know i'll never cook on sunday because i go to my parent's, i just eliminate sunday. that way it doesn't look like i didn't reach my goal that day! as for the negative ones, i've been trying to quit/cut down on cigarettes. so one of my goals is 'smoked more than 5 cigarettes' and if i mark that, i get a big red X instead of a happy green check mark.
i'm definitely intrigued to see exactly what i do and when i do it.
want to make your own goals/resolutions? let me know in the comments if you did/how you're doing with your own resolutions.
go for it!

worries

i think i might be an intense person. i get riled very easily by things like stupid drivers, people who aren't nice to other people, and animal injustices (i'm sorta bristling just thinking about it.). i have passion. it does ebb and flow (especially with craft-related hobbies, exercising, and labor intensive cooking) but i get really into things. especially worrying. i worry a lot.
i have many concerns on a daily basis. am i good at my job? what's for dinner? did i forget to pay a bill? is the oven on? are the cats lonely? i should clean. i should read. i should knit. i know my rent is due on the 5th, but do they think i'm irresponsible for dropping it off on the 4th every month? and lastly, jp.
one thing i'm really into is jp. it is appropriate, since he's my husband. i'm concerned with his well being. probably too much so. definitely too much so.
on monday, jp had an open research memo due. that's law school talk for a really difficult research paper, replete with much analysis.
i've been worried about this memo since it was assigned. i felt a huge wave of relief when the deadline was extended. i mean, how were we going to get it done on time?
another huge wave of relief yesterday when it was turned in.
jp missed a class the one week due to oversleeping. i had butterflies most of the next night. would we oversleep again? he can't miss class 2 days in a row! i know my snoozing is out of control. what can i do? is it fair that i stay in bed when he has to get up? he goes to bed later than me! i should make him coffee and a morning snack! he won't do that for himself!
now, jp has class at 9am tuesday - friday. this means he needs to leave the house somewhere between 8:15 and 8:30 to get there on time. i go to work when it pleases me. sometimes i leave with jp, other times no.
monday morning, 8am. i have been snoozing my alarm for about 1/2 hour now. dammit! again! i jump out of bed, push jp. he groans. i'm crazed. late! we're late! well, not us, him! i run to the kitchen to start coffee. i dash to the bathroom to brush my teeth. luckily, we showered the late afternoon before. we can wait. i run into the bedroom and jp's still in bed! i'm frantic and angered. why won't he get up? while i'm getting dressed he gets up and goes into the living room to watch the weather channel. 15 min to leave the house and you're going to watch the weather channel?? i hop into the living room, trying to put my shoes on. i ask jp what he thinks he's doing. he looks at me, fully ready to go at 8:15 and says, "you know, on mondays i don't have class until 10."
well, i felt dumb.
last week, jp was excited that he had no 9am class on tuesday, wednesday, or thursday this week. i was pleased for him. and promptly forgot.
this morning: replay last monday.
i can't help it! i worry!
next up, he has an appellate brief due. i don't know what that is, but i'm concerned.
you know what else is concerning?
how much i worry.
damn vicious cycles.

the most beautiful bed ever

i am totally obsessed with home decorating in general. i have the plans to decorate about 4 homes at the moment. i know that doesn't sound like a lot, but a lot goes into a room! anyway, this is gorgeous. and i want it or some facsimile of it in my home someday.

domesticity

i have definitely remarked upon my lack of domestic skills. although, perhaps that is unfair. i am perfectly great at the cooking part. i love to cook. if i don't cook for a week, i feel a little lost. yes, i make bad things sometimes. this week, i made an entire crockpot full of lamb stew that jp and i both disliked. however, it's the cleaning that gets to me. my problem is i can't keep up. i feel like if i devote 15 minutes a day, my apartment should be sparkly and purty. this is not the case (not that i actually devote 15 minutes every day though. so who knows.). my problem isn't time (i always have time to watch tv!), it's getting out of the chair/couch. if i sit down when i come home, i'll get up for food, drink, and necessaries and that's it. so last night, i resisted the urge to sit. i immediately started doing things. and you know what? in about 2 hours, i accomplished a LOT. i did a batch of laundry, cleaned the litterbox, put all the dirty clothes in the hamper, put all the clothes on the floor on the bed, vacuumed the bedroom, hallway, living room, and cat furniture, hung a set of hooks for my hoodies/sweaters, and moved the clothes on the bed back to the floor. i'm a firm believer in moving things to clean under them and then putting them back where they were.
as i was doing this, i thought about how the apartment has been in the best shape of any apartment consistently. it dawned on me. was i becoming domestic in both areas? i think so!
and then the horror.
is this because i'm 25 and shouldn't live like a slob anymore? or is it because i'm MARRIED?
later on, omi called me. omi is jp's mom's mom. i was confused on a number of levels. first of all, i've met omi twice in my life (she only remembers one of them). i've never spoken to her on the phone. why wasn't she calling her grandson? we talked for about 20 min or so and she asked me if i was still working. i know that she grew up in a different time, but geez. i don't have any kids. while my dream is to not work and not have any kids (i like to call it a 'stay at home wife'), i'm not ready for that level of de-commitment just yet. but who knows? with my newly acquired domestic attitude, i may be ready to not work.

the internet, brought to me by google, delicious, and stumbleupon

yesterday, jp said this to me: "look at you... you're like some powerful internet princess now." i definitely like that categorization. it's taken months to earn my crown though. with the help of google (mostly), delicious, and stumbleupon, i believe i just might deserve this title.
while at work, about 75% of my job involves emails. this means that i constantly have a firefox window open, and am always logged into gmail. that way, i can respond to emails instantaneously. or at least read it and then agonize over how to reply.
a couple months ago, i set up a blog (you know that. you're reading it.). google did something and took over blogspot with a beta that i signed up for, and now it's fully functional. yay.
people send you cool stuff to check out on the web all the time (especially you darlin! thanks!) and some of it you want to remember or come back to. enter delicious. it stores bookmarks for me. rather than being a machine based thing, it's a web based thing. so i can access my delicious anywhere. i save links to blogs i read, things i might want to reference in the future, etc. and other people can see what's on my delicious too! and you can see who else saved a site to their delicious. (by the way, who saved my blog on their delicious? i can't figure it out from the username...)
so after several months of delicious-ing, i downloaded the newest version of firefox and got an email about the cool new applications that can go with it. first is cooliris. cooliris lets you preview a site before actually clicking away. you just rollover the link and a little blue box pops up. rollover that box and it shows you a quick snapshot of the site. awesome! now i can just see if people have updated anything. awesome.
the other great application is stumbleupon. jp had been telling me about it for months, and i finally got it. you put in preferences and click the Stumble! button and voila! websites that fit your interests. very fun.
now after cooliris-ing sites that i check on a regular basis many times a day, i realized i needed an rss reader. it's essentially a subscription to the site, and your reader tells you when things have been updated. i'm currently using google's because it's web based and i like google.
today, i decided i needed a separate work calendar from my life calendar. what better place to start than google calendar! lifehacker readers and writers rave about it. i like it so far, but it's only been about 2 1/2 hours.
i signed up for picasa so i could see other people's pics. i'm not that impressed by it. comments i've read say that it's as good as iphoto, so if you don't have that, it's great. but i have iphoto. and while it has limitations, i'm pretty attached to it. plus, i've spent hours uploading all my photos to shutterfly and flickr (i'm marshmallowfreya there, too). i don't need a third online photo storage site. at least, not yet.
how much our lives depend upon the internet.
what do you think? internet princess?

the one time in my life i wish i lived in CA

coachella valley music festival.

who thinks this is ok?

all right. i am all about the first amendment. i love that i can say whatever the fuck i want wherever and whenever i want. i have no fear of the thought police (except if i want to talk to my friends who may happen to live in the middle east. then i'm afraid.)(who am i kidding? i'm pretty afraid of the thought police nowadays. however, it's mostly on others' behalf. i think i'm ok, at least for the time being.). regardless, i am offended at times. just because i can say it doesn't mean it's in good taste to. or that there aren't consequences.
i find this shirt to be totally unacceptable. are we really telling young boys that the solution to a nagging female is PUSHING HER? while grinning? i know, i know. who am i to decide what some kid wears? it's just a joke! it's just that i would NEVER want my kid to even see that and think it's ok. c'mon people. we're eradicating rights left and right (ahem) and yet, we're gonna keep this? i'm thinking no. while there's no law against being a jackass, there is a law against beating up your wife/girlfriend. i bet schools/consumers wouldn't think too highly of a shirt with some kid smoking a joint, which is, by the way, a VICTIMLESS crime.

ps i'm mostly upset because this is a child's shirt. if it were for adults, i would certainly consider it to be in poor taste. but i would grin and bear it. i'm not all about censorship. i just don't think 8 year olds should wear tshirts like this.

things people said

the fortune cookies are hilarious.
check it out.

my car karma rears its ugly head at the worst times

note: anyone who knows me knows about my car karma. if i touch it, it will break down, go flat, hit something, leak something, be ticketed, be stolen, not work. i believe that life is fair, and i can only imagine that i'm deserving of it in some way. the universe makes up for it by granting me great parking karma. it's the day after thanksgiving at the mall and i happen to get that spot 3 in from the door. i'd rather these things were reversed, but hey, i'm not in charge.

this morning, i wake up on time, get myself together, get coffee, leave at a reasonable time. walk out to the car, turn the key, and.....putter, putter, stop. won't turn over. radio won't even turn on. i look up and one of my maplights is on. has been all night.
dammit!
so i go looking for jp's car. he doesn't need it today, might as well take it. but it's not in the lot, not on the street, not in front of the apartment....hmmm. where's the bug??
i go back into the house, ask jp where his car is. he tells me groggily that it's in the lot. i refute this statement. he looks confused. i ask him when he drove it last. "yesterday, to the bus stop." ok. since we never picked it up last night after coming home from the hospital, one can only imagine that's where it still is. grrrr.
so fine, i'll take the 61A (even though i hate it and it's a big pain to get home on. it takes about an hour to get home. and that's after waiting something like 45 min for it to show up). walk down the driveway and i see...the 61A!!! oh no!! i start to run, immediately lose my footing on the snowy road and fall flat on my ass. coffee everywhere.
since the 61A comes every 1/2 hour, i have 2 options. i can: 1) wait or 2) walk to the EBO stop to get jp's car or the bus there. it's a little less than a mile. not a bad walk, except it's really cold. and i'm still fighting this sickness, which includes chest problems. so i'm walking along, wheezing (because of course i don't have the inhaltor!), and i go to cross the last street before the park&ride. i look to my left and there's a car about to pull up to the stop sign about 20 feet away. i figure i have time to cross by the time they stop and turn. i look at the car, step onto the street, and this little old lady runs the stop sign and cuts me off. nice.
i get to the car, unlock it, get in, turn the key. the alarm goes off. why? i've never figured out how the bug's alarm system works. 'it hates me' is the only consistent theory that works so far.
at least it's friday.

hospitals and big trucks from texas

my mother-in-law, jean, had surgery yesterday. she had three of her cervical vertebrae fused together and various bone spurs ground down. since i've known her, this is the 4th surgery she's undergone. usually, they are reserved for summertime when she doesn't have to leave her 4th graders, but this year she already has a summer surgery planned (her 2nd knee replacement). the bone spurs were getting pretty close to the nerve that controls her vocal cords, so it was best to get this out of the way ASAP. plus, she hasn't slept well in years because of the neck pain. if she's going to have time to heal and get ready for the new knee, now's the time.
she was supposed to be in surgery for about 3 hours, but it ended up taking 6. apparently, the bone spurs were much larger than originally thought. during the operation, either she or hospital personnel managed to scratch her cornea. i've scratched my cornea before. it feels like there's a rock in your eye. a big one. watery pain continues for hours. so when she emerges from surgery, she is wearing one of those 'i'm suing because i have whiplash' collars and a big ol' eye patch. plus, she's got on the oh-so-fashionable hospital robe. only, on the pocket, there's a public service announcement. it says something like "wash hands to save lives!". and it has two hands as a graphic. you know where pockets are on women, right? on the boob. with big, grabby hands. pretty freaking hilarious. as jean said - "this was obviously designed by a man."
so she is doing well, quite cheery and self-mocking of the eye patch and collar. she made me take a picture so that she could see herself later. jp and i went to the hospital straight from work and met joe there. we left to go grab food, meeting will and shannon there. after dinner, we all trooped back to the hospital to visit until she fell asleep.
when we arrived and parked in the hospital garage, there was a huge truck with a texas license plate taking up 2 spaces. now, i understand your vehicle is massive. while i don't understand WHY you need that, i do understand that garage spots are smaller than average. however, this guy didn't even try. his truck was parked centrally over the 2 spots. it's like having a big sign that says "hey guess what! i'm more important than you and your car! i deserve two spaces!". i was so angered by this that i left a note on the car. it went like this:

way to park like a big asshole. not only are you
ruining the environment, you are ruining the
opportunity for a more fuel-efficient car to park.
congratulations.
signed, a concerned citizen.

was that too harsh? does anyone else have completely uncontrollable anger when they see things like this? even the sight of an escalade driving down the street gives me this.
is my sense of social responsibility hypocritical in this sense? i do use ziploc baggies to store food. i don't think about packaging when i make a purchase. i leave lights on for the cats when i go out at night. i do however, turn down a bag at a store if what i've bought will fit in my purse. and while my car doesn't get the best gas mileage out there, it is a standard, and i do take the bus to work most of the time (but i drive to the park and ride!). what do we think?

the big purple couch is a slut

jp and i went furniture shopping. we went to la-z-boy because they're going out of business and we were hoping to score a deal. unfortunately, 'going out of business' meant 25% off. so chairs that we originally would never dream of affording are still too expensive. and i hated the salespeople there. they're the type that follow you around and prod you into buying things. it's like shopping for a car, except instead of getting to test drive something fun, you just get to sit in chairs. totally not worth it.
so then we went to roomful express. sure, it has a bad jingle. yes, i've encountered a really creepy salesguy at one of their stores who had shoulder length greased back hair and thought shannon and i were lesbians. but if you don't have much money and want a chair that you don't have to assemble, it's where you go. so we wandered around and sat in every even remotely attractive chair that wasn't leather. and we narrowed it down to two...then one! we bought a chair! and an ottoman!
yes, it was still expensive (at least i think so. we bought like 6 pieces of furniture at ikea for that price!). yes, we got suckered into the 'fabric protection'. but it was our first big furniture purchase together, and i'm excited for tomorrow, when they bring it to my house. and even more excited for saturday, when we rearrange all the furniture.
in case you were concerned, the big purple couch will be returning to todd, after 3 years abroad. it may be large, uncomfortable, not really purple anymore, and kinda broken in one spot, but this couch is a legacy. it's like that girl that dated every guy in the group.
yes, i just called the big purple couch a slut.

finally, undeniable proof in crayon-writing.

girls are evil.

giant eagle, the patriot act, really, what's the difference?

i dropped off 2 prescriptions with giant eagle last thursday. 45 minute wait, i'm told. so i leave and come back later. here's what happened.
i wait in line to pick up my prescriptions. approximately 5 minutes or so. just enough to get annoyed. plus, i'm desperately sick and coughing all over the people in front of me. need to lie down immediately. i get to the front of the line and the girl brings me 1 bag. i ask her about the other one and she looks at my prescription and says she doesn't know why they didn't fill it. she'll go ask. so she does. the pharmacist is all snotty with her and tells her that the other medicine is over the counter and i'll have to get it myself. well, gee. if i had known that, i would've had it in hand to avoid another line wait. but fine. i need to grab a frozen pizza or something anyways.
go to where the mucinex d is kept. you know what's there?? a card. a card that says i have to pick up this medicine behind the pharmacy counter. are you kidding? you just sent me away.
get BACK in line at the pharmacy. wait. give over my little card. the lady goes to grab it and says over her shoulder, "i need to see your license". umm, ok. i guess you have to be 18 to buy psuedophedrine? whatever. so i show it to her. she takes it out of my hand and proceeds to write down my name, address, license number, and any other available personal information on here. so i'm totally flabbergasted and i ask her what she's going to do with that. she tells me nothing, as long as i'm not buying too much psuedophedrine.
ok, back up a minute. mucinex d contains 600 mg of guifinesin and 60 mg of psuedophedrine. and it costs $11. who is buying mucinex d to pull out that tiny bit and make meth out of it??? NO ONE. that's the stupidest thing i've ever heard. and where's all my personal info now? sitting in some notebook. what do they do with that?
and don't give me the "if you aren't doing anything wrong, you have nothing to be worried about". i'm worried. or at least i would be if my license didn't list my name as freya jansen and my address as stanton ave.

take that, giant eagle! let's see you find me and my meth lab now!

get up, come on, get down with the sickness

i feel like it's been forever since i've written anything. and it has been. i blame the sickness. you will all be quite proud to hear that i have managed to beat the plague.
the plague started on january 6, as a nagging feeling that i didn't feel good. by the time i acknowledged it, i felt awful. i was at the movies, watching cuaron's new feel-good classic 'children of men' (no, really, it's an awesome movie. the sarcasm is just for the feel-good part). after this, i wandered around south side works with jp and the in-laws and we ate dinner at pipers. we went home and didn't go out. i just coughed a lot.
the next day, i coughed a lot and felt worse. but i muscled through the day of laundry and dinner at my parents'. didn't get any cleaning done that morning, but that's ok. i have the whole week to clean, right?
WRONG.
i wake up monday and feel downright terrible. i go into work because i have just hired 5 translators and they are all anxiously awaiting their first translation files. so i send them off and tell susi that i'm leaving. i just need to lie down. i stop at cvs on the way home. i buy nicotine lozenges, cough drops, and ramen. everything a sick girl needs for an afternoon or two. make it home, take a nap, sit on the couch. sit forever. can't get up. just sit and cough.
tuesday i wake up and there's no way i'm going into work. repeat monday, except i do manage to throw some ingredients in the crockpot and load the dishwasher. then i decide that the bathroom just can't take it anymore - it must be cleaned. after filling the air with noxious bleach-like fumes and scrubbing for a little bit, i realize i'm dying. back to the couch.
wednesday. i had full intentions of going to work. that was thwarted when i woke up. now i'm feeling super guilty about missing so much work, and i'm pissed that i've just used 3 days off! i don't get 'sick' or 'vacation' days, i get paid time off. so i get 20 days a year. if i'm never sick, it's all vacation. if i'm always sick, i never get vacation. so i'm annoyed. but i have managed to watch season 5 of 'angel' and most of 'gilmore girls' season 1. and that's enlightening.
thursday. i need to go to work. so i do. i feel awful. i've slept strangely this whole week because of weird medicine nod-like dreams. the kind where you wake up and are convinced you didn't actually sleep, but were just sitting there for 2 hours. so i trudge through the 75 emails i have from translators. my favorites were from one in particular in which i was berated for not replying. he sent the original email monday morning, and berated me monday late afternoon. gimme a break.
so i leave early to go to a doctor's appointment that i had made the week before. i was going to talk to my doctor about quitting smoking. essentially she told me that if i smoke less than 5 cigarettes a day, i'm not addicted to nicotine anymore and no drugs will help me. only i can stop me now...yeah, and then she tells me i have some sort of virus and she writes me a prescription for albuterol and mucinex. i go to giant eagle and drop them off. i'm told it's a 45 min wait. so i go to kmart to wander around, because it's more amusing than giant eagle. i call jp from there to see if he wants to meet me at eatnpark for food. we eat, and i feel like i'm dying again. i still have to go get my prescriptions. we'll make giant eagle adventures a separate story though....